No obligation to try
by addekfanforever
Summary: After Addison's little outburst in front of everyone in the hospital, Derek finally starts thinking about the state of his marriage and his role in it. He realizes his mistakes and takes a decision. But is that a right decision? Will it make them happy again?
1. Chapter 1

Hi. This is my first attempt at writing and English is not my first language. I would appreciate your feedbacks. Let me know if I should continue.

Disclaimer: Don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did Addison and Derek would be heading towards their 20th Anniversary.

Derek was sitting alone in an empty OR. Honestly he was hiding there. He was hiding from gossiping nurses, annoying interns, angry Richard and his Satan wife and may be from the reality. So he went to the OR to get away from the drama, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. His mind was rushing 1000 miles an hour. After their big fight in front of the entire hospital, everyone was not so discreetly whispering and gossiping about them. Well some of the staff looked at him sympathetically but most people were giving him disapproving looks and even death glares.

_She is Satan, how could people feel sorry for her and blame me for her tantrum. She made a scene of herself and me. Addison was unprofessional and out of line, she started the fight and she yelled in front of people. It wasn't my fault. I am the poor husband here. I shouldn't be blamed, I didn't do anything. _

_Yeah right i didn't do anything and that was the cause of Addison's frustration. She is expecting me to do lot many things. She wants me to cut back working hours, she wants to go out for fancy dinners, she wants to get rid of my trailer, she wants a vacation. But i did nothing of that. Basically she wants everything to be as it was back in NY. But I can't do that. After what she did it is hard for me to be a perfect loving husband to her. It is hard to forgive. I know it was partly my fault, i was absent, i didn't notice her but that did not justify her infidelity. I trusted her. I trusted them both, they were my family. It hurts a lot when the people who are closest to you betray you in worst possible way. I need time and a little understanding from Addison but instead all she is doing is making things more difficult. I am trying, in spite of her adultery I took her back, I gave her a second chance. God I gave up the women I loved to make this marriage work. And instead of being grateful Addison accused me of using her just to satisfy my need of being a good guy. She degraded me in front of the entire hospital and in front of Meredith. She stained my Mcdreamy image. I hate her. I hate hate hate Addison. Addison who i once thought was the love of my life. _

_I can't believe how my life became such a mess. When we got married i knew that we were meant to be. She was the woman with whom i wanted to spend rest of my life. My Addie. My sparkling, intelligent, passionate, confident, strong, witty, compassionate and breathtakingly beautiful Addie._

A small smile crept his lips when he thought about his addie. The smile widened as he kept thinking about their med school days and early years of marriage. They had a wonderful time together. Hell everyone envied them. They were a perfect couple, hot, madly in love, successful and were on their path of becoming world renowned. At this moment even he envied the old Derek and Addison.

_I have no idea how we reached at this point. We are no more the perfect Drs. Shepard. We have become ghosts of old Derek and Addison. I have changed. I am not the same person anymore. As Addie says i am this fannal wearing, wood chopping fisherman. _

But when he though deeper he realized that he wasn't the only one who had changed. His addie had also changed. Till then he hadn't given it so much of thought.

_But Addison is also not the same person anymore. Well she does look the same, designer clothes, expensive shoes, flaming red hair, beautiful features and those eyes… yes her sparkling eyes they definitely have changed. They are now dull and sad. How did I miss that? In last 15 years she has been through a lot but I have never seen her look so defeated. She was an extreme optimist. She could always find some silver lining in any situation. I sometimes doubts if i could have made through the tough days of med school, internship and residency without Addie on my side. She is the perfect example of compassion, grace and strength or she was. _

_Today she was different. My Addie would have never busted in front of patients. She had impeccable bed side manners. She is Bizzy's daughter. She very well knows how to control or at least hide her emotions. My Addie would have never reacted the way she did. No matter what the situation is she would have never let herself lose her calm. But today she did. Addison who rarely shows her true emotions had a meltdown in front of whole SGH staff. I can't even imagine how embarrassed she must be. She hates being weak or pitied at. Is this all my fault? Did I make her so vulnerable? _

He started recollected all the events of last few months.

_She came to Seattle to fight for our marriage. I can see it in her eyes how much she regrets what she did and how desperate she is to make things work. But I just humiliated her in front of everyone. She took all the shit i threw at her with grace. She gave up her life in NY to be with me. She is a Forbes Montgomery but she agreed to live in a trailer. She did that for me. Though with lots of resentment she has managed to live in a house which is not much bigger than our walk in __close-set__ in the brownstone. She agreed to adopt Meredith's dog. She is trying to fit in a life which she isn't comfortable in just for the sake of a man she loves. She is trying really hard to make our marriage work but am I really trying? _

_She thinks I took her back only to be a nice guy. Honestly I don't know why I took her back. I just couldn't sign those papers. I didn't want my marriage to end. But I also didn't want things to end with Meredith either. That's why I decided to be friends with her. It must be hard for Addison to accept our friendship but I didn't care. Being with Meredith is easy. She makes me happy, she doesn't expect much, she thinks I am this perfect neurosurgeon. I am her Mcdreamy who can never be wrong. But with Addison it is complicated. Our relationship is exhausting. Addison wants me to work on us, to talk, and to address our problems which I think might not be fixable. I don't want to face those problems, it is tiring and painful. Marriage isn't supposed to be this difficult. We were supposed to be 'happy ever after'. Our fairytale wasn't supposed to involve boring couples' therapy or that useless counseling. That is not going to help us. Nothing can help us. May be we are beyond help. I really don't know what I am doing. I am just going through the motion. I know I __**should **__forgive her, I __**should**__ move on, I __**should**__ make efforts to amend our relationship, I know I __**should **__be doing lots of things but I can't. I don't__** feel**__ like doing any of that. I don't have it in me anymore. I don't think after the Mark and Meredith episodes, me and Addison can ever go back to the way we were. _

This lone time in the OR really helped Derek to finally face the issues which he had been avoiding for long. He honestly confronted his own feelings. And for the first time in months he felt something for Addison. Though he couldn't understand what that feeling exactly was but it wasn't anger or indifference. He felt sorry for her. Sorry for the way he had treated her.

_She definitely doesn't deserve this. She is not a bad person. Yes she made a mistake. But she was strong enough to own it and face the consequences. Being the wrong guy must be exhausting. She hid her pain perfectly behind her professional face. But today she looked tired and defeated. I pushed her too much. My old Addie is lost somewhere while single handedly fighting for our marriage. All that has now remained is a mortified and miserable ghost of the once incredible Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepard. _

_This isn't right. It's time to man up and do the right thing. _

After Derek had reached his decision he exited the OR and headed towards the trailer to meet his Addie. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for your response. Ok so here is a little background of the story. It starts in late season 2 immediately after Addison's outburst but it's a bit AU from there. All that happened in season 2 did happen except that Addison had only one night stand with Mark. She didn't stay with him and so never got pregnant. Events happening after that may not be exactly as per GA's original timeline.

First few chapters are angst but it won't last for long.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Derek felt the ride back home was longer than usual. But it allowed him some time to cool down and rehearse his speech. He was more nervous than he was while proposing her 13 years back. He parked his car besides Addison's, took deep breaths and stepped out of the car. He reminded himself that he was doing the right thing. After waiting for few more seconds he stepped inside the trailer with determination.

There she was sitting at the tiny dinner table. She heard him enter the room but did not look up. She continued staring at her hands which were resting on her knees. This wasn't the first time Derek had found her deeply lost in her thoughts but he had never bothered to give another look. But today he noticed her puffy eyes, her reddish nose and the ever present agony in her eyes. He felt a slight pain in his heart.

"Hey" he called little hesitantly. She looked up and gave a weak smile. They shared an awkward silence for few seconds before she spoke. "I talked to your patient's parents again. You were right I should have been more understanding. I apologized to them. But I still hold my grounds. I think medically it's a bad idea." Derek nodded gently "I second your opinion."

"Thanks. And Derek I am sorry for before. I overreacted. I shouldn't have made a scene in front of people. I am really sorry."

Oh god she was apologizing again. Since that night 'I am sorry' had become her signature line. Before Mark, he had hardly heard those words from her. Addison was stubborn and truly believed that she was ALWAYS right. Well he too was equally stubborn so instead of apologizing, they both preferred making up with hot angry sex.

"Addison, stop apologizing. It's ok. I get it. You were stressed and you lost it. It happens with us all. We all have bad days. And it wasn't entirely your fault. I deserved your wrath. I am sorry."

What! Did she here it right? Derek was apologizing? Derek never apologizes. Yes few days ago he did acknowledge his part in downfall of their marriage and promised her to work on it but that didn't last for long. Soon he went back to being McDreamy. She looked at him skeptically not sure what caused this change. Derek could read her doubts in her pale green eyes.

"Addison after our little argument I did some sole searching. I thought a lot about us. I finally faced the issues which I had been avoiding for months." Addison was still shocked and showed no emotion but she was carefully listening to his every word.

He continued "Addie I am really sorry for everything. I am sorry for calling you Satan, I am sorry for treating you so badly, I am sorry for Meredith and I am sorry for not fighting for our marriage. I am ashamed of my behavior. I hate what I have done to you. You may not believe this Addie but the pain in your eyes is physically hurting me right now."

He was right she didn't believe him. He was standing in front of her, looking directly into her eyes and saying all those things which she wanted to hear for long. But she couldn't fall for it. She had her heart broken numerous times in past so she was skeptical and didn't want to get her hopes high, only to be trashed later. But she didn't say anything she just kept looking at him urging him to go on.

"We were happy together. But things changed, we changed. We aren't the same people anymore. We grew apart. We hurt each other. Our relationship isn't going anywhere Addie. May be we are trying to repair something which is too damaged."

Derek tried to study Addison's reaction but she showed no emotion. She just stared at him with blank eyes. "I don't want to hurt you Addie. I care about you. I really do. You are my best friend. I hate myself for breaking you and making you so miserable. We are hurting ourselves and resenting each other more by hanging on. Addie we both deserve more."

By this point Addison had a fair idea of where this discussion was going. She just lost her patience "Stop beating around the bush Derek. Just come to the point. Spit it out."

"Addie we should stop this misery before it is too late. I don't want us to hate each other in the end. I think we should.. aaa.. I think.. I think it's better to end our marriage." Finally he said it. Now the bullet was out of the gun he fearfully looked at her.

"okay"

"okay?"

There was no change in her expression. She hadn't moved an inch since his arrival. And now even after his shattering confession she just said okay and went back to staring her hands.

It was Derek's turn to be shocked. He didn't expect her to be so calm. He had prepared himself for yelling, throwing shoes, fighting or some hysterical crying but not simple "ok". She just agreed to end their almost 12 years old marriage without a blink of eye. Was she tired of him, had she already given up on him, did she also want a divorce? He stood there for a while waiting for some reaction from her but she made no attempt to continue the topic. Derek went into the bedroom to change. When he came back after 5 minutes she was still sitting in the same position. He went to the fridge to get a bottle of water when he heard her voice again.

"Can I spend one last night with my husband?"

"Huh?"

She got up and stood in front of him. "Can I spend one last night with my husband?" she asked again. Though her voice was void of any emotion her eyes were pleading.

"Off course Addison. Look we don't need to rush into anything. We can figure this out later. You don't need to leave immediately. You can stay here as long as you want. I would have offered to move out and let you have the trailer but I don't think you would want to live in this trailer." Derek was rambling. He didn't know what to say to make the situation less painful.

"No I don't want to stay. No point in delaying the inevitable. It is better to just rip the band aid off. I will leave tomorrow morning but before that I want to spend a night with my husband. I need to have some good memories of our last time together. May I?"

A small smile crept Derek's face. Yes he needed that too. Even though it was his decision to end their marriage, it definitely was not easy for him. He nodded and received a small smile from Addison in return.

"So are you hungry? Did you have your dinner?" Derek asked trying to lighten the air.

"I had late lunch. I am not really hungry."

"Not hungry? Not even for your favorite pasta cooked by your favorite chef?" Derek asked with a charming smile.

Addison looked at him with confusion.

"Well Addison you have 30 minutes to get ready for our dinner reservations at this fancy porch in middle of nowhere. So you better hurry and start dressing up. We don't want to miss our reservation. Do we?"

Addison also started playing along. "No we don't. So how fancy is this place? What should I wear?"

"Very fancy. I would suggest some exclusive formal gown and high heels."

"Okay. Are you going to dress up too?" she asked in a child like enthusiasm. He just nodded with an amused look. "Can I pick your clothes? Lately I highly doubt your dressing skills. I don't want you to embarrass me at this fancy place you know." She stated with a smirk.

Derek just laughed and gave her his approval. "Now you should start getting ready for the most amazing date of your life"

Once she disappeared in to the bedroom Derek started preparing their dinner. They didn't have many ingredients to cook a fancy dinner but he wanted to make the most of what was available. He was now determined to give Addison a perfect last night. It was a small attempt to make up for his past sins.

While Addison was getting ready Derek quickly made her favorite pasta. He wasn't a great cook. But Addison loved his limited cooking skills. Derek often used to cook surprise dinner for her whenever he had time. Though Addison looked pretentious, it was easy to please her. Derek used to get lucky with his simple surprise breakfast in bed. She just needed to be assured that she is precious and loved. Addison had also tried to please him with her own cooking but after couple of disastrous attempts Derek had begged her to stop cooking.

While recalling good old times Derek set a table for their dinner. Luckily it wasn't raining. He gave a final look at the arrangements and went inside to get dressed. Addison was almost ready when he entered their bedroom. She looked mesmerizing. Derek just stood there admiring her beauty. She had chosen his favorite backless green full length gown. He grinned at her choice. He remembered the times when he had taken that dress off her. She brought him out of his fantasy by handing him her favorite black Armani suite. He knew she would select this dress for him.

She offered to get the food and drinks out while he was getting ready but he refused. So she just waited for him to get ready. He didn't take long. When he emerged from the bedroom in his classy suite, she spontaneously complemented him for his looks and delicious smell of food. It was then he realized that he had forgotten to tell her how beautiful she looked. He mentally kicked himself.

They settled on their chairs on the porch. It was chilly but they didn't care. Derek had arranged a heater for them. They tried some small talks but often ended up in awkward silence. Then they just enjoyed the dinner in silence exchanging smiles now and then. Addison was contemplating asking him something but didn't want to ruin the dinner. But after the desert she couldn't hold it back anymore. She abruptly asked

"were you happy?"

"What?"

"Were you ever happy with me? Did you feel trapped in our marriage? Do you regret marrying me?"

"Addie!" He gave a small sigh. She was taking it all wrong. He began assuring her "I was absolutely content with our life. Barring Seattle I only have the good memories of our marriage. I know you can't say the same. Last few years in New York when I was absent must not be very memorable for you. But I was so busy with my work that I don't even remember our downfall and so I only have the nice memories. I have had the best days of my life with you. And Addie I want to preserve those wonderful memories. That is why I think we should stop here before it turns ugly."

Addison looked into his eyes and smiled hopefully "So you don't regret marrying me?"

"No not at all. You have played a very significant role in my life Addie. I don't think without you I could have been the person and the surgeon I am today."

Her smile widened with his confession. "Me neither. You know even if someone had told me that our marriage would end like this, I would have still married you. Having those years with you was so much worth this pain Dr. Shepard."

They kept looking into each other's eyes. Neither of them was willing to break the contact. She extended her hand to him

"Dance with me"

"What? We don't have any music here Dr. Shepard"

"Be creative Dr. Shepard. Feel the music in your heart! Common Der this would be our last dance together" she pouted.

He gave in and started moving in synch with her on the imaginary music. Holding her in his arms felt so good. Their bodies fitted perfectly with each other's, eyes locked together. But after a while she couldn't hold his gaze. It was too painful to know that this was the last time they were holding each other. Tears started pouring into her eyes. She rested her head on his shoulder and continued enjoying warmth of his body. He could feel the moisture on his shoulder. He gently lifted her face and leaned forward to brush his lips on hers.

After few pecks he dared to deepen the kiss. She was first hesitant but soon lost in his touch. Oh god he could still make her knees weak. Once their lips had touched it was impossible for them to stop. Derek pulled her closer and started caressing her bare back. She threaded her fingers through his dark hair.

"Inside" Addison managed to mumble against his lips. He obeyed quickly but not leaving her lips even for a second. Once they were inside Addison kicked her shoes off and impatiently started removing his coat and unbuttoning his shirt. She was very hostile. She wanted to seize their closeness as much as she could. Derek stopped her and hugged her tight. "Addie calm down. We have a whole night. I don't want to rush. I want to make love to you. I want to cherish every moment and so do you. So just relax." He wiped away a small tear trying escape her eye with his lips. He led them to the bed and gently laid her down. He slowly started removing her dress exploring every inch of exposed skin with his lips. He wanted to memories every part of her beautiful body. Addison laid naked on the bed looking absolutely stunning. Derek couldn't take his eyes off her. He took his sweet time caressing her curves and soft skin. Then he got rid of his own clothes and positioned himself between her legs. "You are incredibly gorgeous Addie" Addison could feel his hardness against her thigh. It felt so nice. "Derek" she let out a soft moan. He could see the desire in her eyes. Derek slid into her and waited for her to adjust. Once she gave him a nod, he started thrusting into her steadily.

After a while they both laid back on the bed trying to regain their breath. "Wow" "That was amazing" "Yeah it was great. Thank you" They both stared at the ceiling in comfortable silence. Derek pulled Addison closer and started stroking her hair. She rested her head on his chest and started tracing patterns over his arm. "I love you. I will always love you Der" Addison was first to break the silence. Derek smiled sadly "me too Addie. I will always love you." Addison also had the same sad smile on her face. "Thank you Derek. Thank you for this amazing night. I will move to Archfield tomorrow. I will get all my stuff..." Derek placed a finger on her lips to silence her. "Let us not talk about tomorrow. Let us just live in the moment. Please?" Addison nodded and gave him her radiant smile. Slowly they drifted off to sleep content in each other's arms.

They had a lot to deal with. But that could wait. Tonight they just wanted to cherish what they had.

And before you start hating me for their divorce just remember that I am an addek fan. Please review :)


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys thank you so much for your reviews. Please keep sharing what you feel.

When Derek woke up in the morning he was alone in the bed. The silence in the trailer could only mean she was gone. Derek couldn't believe that she had already left. He gave a heavy sigh and got up to begin the day. He headed towards the kitchen to make coffee but tumbled over a pair of high heels. A small smile crossed Derek's face. Addison might leave him without saying goodbye but she would never abandon her beloved shoes. He switched on the lights. All Addison's stuff was still there. Then he saw a note near coffee machine. _'Got called in for an emergency. Will come back later to get my stuff'. _Derek didn't fail to notice the missing _'love Addie'_ signature.

But he couldn't ponder over that thought much. He had to get ready for work. He had lives to save. He reminded himself that he had done the right thing. Even though he felt bad for his failed marriage it was time to move on.

If he was honest with himself he would admit that he also felt a little relived. Now he no longer had the burden of a stale marriage. Now he didn't have any obligation to try to forgive his adulterous wife. And now he didn't have to feel guilty about his _friendship_ with Meredith. He was a free man now. He brushed away all sad thoughts to embrace the new chapter of life.

As always on his elevator ride up to the surgical floor he encountered with Meredith Grey. "Good morning Meredith." He greeted her with a pleasant smile. She was her usual self, all dark and twisty. "Hey. I am on your service today". Meredith briefed him about new admissions and her morning rounds. Derek also went into doctor mode and gave her all necessary instructions. Strangely the opportunity of spending his day with Meredith didn't excite him as it used to before.

Derek was stretching his sore body while observing the OR board. It was a very stressful day. Burke had got shot; chief was stressed because of his niece's condition and Adel's confrontation about his affair. He had to operate on Burke and then comfort Richard. On top of all that Baily's interns had done something with a heart transplant patient. But he had no energy to get involved in that matter now. He wondered why Addison's name was nowhere on the OR board. When he came in the morning she was in the surgery. He hadn't seen her all day. Generally Derek tried his best to avoid her as much as possible. But Addison always visited him whenever she could, tried to have small talks or at least watch his surgery. Today she hadn't come to talk to him even once. Maybe she was busy with paper work or she must be with Adel. Both Adel and Addison could use a friend at this moment. Coincidentally both women had suffered because of their absent husband and the women named Grey. The thought made him sad again. He wondered how Addison was holding up.

He went to neonatal unit to look for Addison only to find out that she had taken half day off and went home early. She must have taken some time off to shop and get ready for the prom which they all were supposed to attend in the laughed at his thought though he very well knew the real reasons for her disappearance. He felt a strange urge to check on her but since she had already left he also decided to call it a day and head back to the trailer. May be she would still be there in the trailer packing her things. Even if she had already left he would meet her at that stupid prom in sometime. Richard had made it compulsory for everyone to attend.

When he entered the trailer he immediately felt that it looked empty. All her things were gone. She had moved out. The trailer was his sanctuary again. Though it didn't feel like a victory. He wanted to quickly change his clothes and go to prom so he could talk to Addison.

There was another note on the fridge for him. "I have moved most of my stuff. I have taken some time off. I might be out of town for a while. Take care". He just stared at the note. He couldn't comprehend it. She was gone, without any goodbye or a single word. She didn't say where she was going, when was she coming back and whether she was coming back at all. Though they were separated, he didn't expect her to disappear like this. It was more of his style. But he couldn't blame her. He had done the same to her, in worse way. At least she had a courtesy to leave a note.

Though he was in no mood to socialize, he had to attend that prom. So he decided to make a brief appearance, make his presence known and disappear without anyone noticing. Before heading to the prom he first went to Burke's room. He checked his colleague's stats. Everything looked fine. Burke's anesthesia had worn off. "Everything looks good. There shouldn't be any complications in your recovery. And if there are any, you have a world renowned surgeon at your service." Derek assured him with his charming smile. Burke rolled his eyes at his colleague's magnificent ego. "You look pretty Dr. Shepard" Burke teased him. "Yeah. I am so jealous of you at this moment. Want to trade places? I am sure Dr. Yang would love to go to the prom with her boyfriend." Both men shared a good laugh. "By the way, where is your beautiful date Shepard?" Burke enquired casually. "I don't have a date" Derek responded. "So Addison is still mad at you?" Derek didn't know what so say. He ignored Burke's last question and said "Ok I got to go now. Let me know if you need anything. Take care"

Derek realized people were going to ask about Addison's absence. He had no idea what to answer. He wanted to discuss things with her before telling people about their split. He was hoping for a dignified divorce without stirring too much of gossip in the hospital. In order to avoid all nosy people he went and sat with an old annoying attending. Generally people preferred staying away from the old man so Derek was safe in his company.

Derek noticed Meredith entering the hall. She looked beautiful, quite different from her usual self. Meredith also noticed Derek sitting in a far corner but she went straight to her date. Derek's eyes followed her. He saw the admiring look in vet's eyes. Derek felt an ache in heart when Finn kissed Meredith on cheek. Derek kept staring at her. Meredith couldn't take her eyes off him either. Derek could see how uncomfortable she was. She was awkwardly dancing with the Vet. Though Finn was saying something to her, she was hardly paying any attention. Derek knew she was feeling out of place. She was naïve. Getting dressed, make up, high heels and formally socializing at parties wasn't her thing. Addison would have loved it. Mark often teased her that she was born to socialize. No matter what her state of mind was, she would have walked around in her 'I rule the world' persona. Derek recalled the social events they had attended together back in New York. He remembered how all men used to turn their heads when Addie entered. He purposefully used to kiss her or pull her closer to mark his territory. Addison loved him being little jealous. The envy looks of other men used to make him proud and feel lucky to be her husband. Though his eyes were still glued at Meredith his thoughts were drifted to old times in New York. He didn't even notice when Meredith left the dance floor to get away from his gaze. He came back to present times when Richard announced that the party was over. The heart transplant patient Danny had died.

The hospital was quite a mess since prom. Burke was still in recovery. Danny who was apparently engaged to Stevens had died. The interns especially Stevens had something to do with his death. Adel had left Richard. Hospital was short of two star surgeons Burke and Addison. Derek had no time to breathe. But luckily with all that was going around no one had paid much attention to Addison's absence so far. But it had been three days since prom and now that novelty of Burke and Danny's gossip had worn off people had taken up Addison and Derek's case for discussion. So far Derek had given some vague replies to all Addison related inquiries. He hadn't heard anything from Addison yet. He had asked Richard but he just said that she had taken leave for unspecified period of time. _'Unspecified period of time'_ that was what he had told his Chief in New York. May be she was gone for good. A rational part of him understood that she had all rights to move on. But it was very sudden. He hadn't expected her to agree so easily for divorce. He thought they would discuss things at length like she always does. He at least expected a goodbye and formal closure. He often found himself checking his messages and voice-mails in hope of some news from Addison. He was just curious about her whereabouts.

After a week from their public fight and Addison's subsequent disappearance people had suspicions about their separation. No one still knew that Derek had asked for divorce. Everyone though Addison was the one to quit. Many were surprised that she tolerated Derek's shit for so long. Apparently from being a Satan, she had managed to become staff's favorite Shepard in last few months. 'Team Meredith' already hated him for choosing Addison and now the rapidly expanding 'Team Addison' was also against him. By now he had got used to their death glares.

Richard and Burke had their own issues to deal with. He didn't have many friends in Seattle. Meredith was the only one still talking to him outside work topics. But somehow he didn't enjoy their chats as he once used to. She had suggested going on morning walks again but he had declined saying the work load was too exhausting and he needed extra sleep in the morning.

After another long day Derek was sitting alone at Joe's deep lost in his thoughts. After a while Meredith joined him.

"Hey" she greeted him.

"Hi" he replied absentmindedly.

"Long day?" Meredith tried to start a conversation. Derek just nodded.

After few minutes of silence Derek realized that Meredith was just trying to be a good friend and he should reciprocate the efforts. He started the conversation gain. "How was your day?"

"As usual. No interesting surgeries. You seem to be very busy. I hardly saw you in last few days. " Meredith was glad that he was talking.

"Yeah. You know how it is in hospital these days. We are a bit understaffed. Richard is stressed. I volunteered to work extra to share his burden."

"Being the nice guy as always." Meredith praised him.

"So how is Finn?"

"He is good." Meredith didn't want to talk about Finn with Derek. Actually she wanted to talk about them. She had heard about Addison leaving and was waiting for Derek to come and patch up things with her. But it had been a week and Derek had made no move. She thought maybe he was reluctant because of Finn. "You know what, we are just dating. Nothing serious. We are not even exclusive. We are free to date others." She was rambling and hoping that Derek would pick up the hints.

"He is a nice guy. I am sure he will make you happy. Give him a chance." Even Derek was surprised at his own words. He was advocating another guy to the woman he thought he was in love with.

Yeah he is a nice guy, he is not married, he has plans for them BUT he isn't McDreamy. He is just a vet not the world renowned brain surgeon. He didn't have great hair. Meredith just kept on looking at Derek with longing eyes. She couldn't understand now that Addison had gone why was Derek holding back? She decided to confirm the rumors.

"I heard Addison left. Did she? Is she coming back?" Meredith had too many questions.

Derek didn't want to talk about Addison or their marriage with Meredith. But he knew given their history he owed her some explanation. "She did. I don't know where she is or if she is coming back. Our marriage is over." He was staring at his scotch so he didn't notice the small smile on Meredith's face.

"I am sorry Derek. I know it must be difficult for you. You gave up so much for her; you sacrificed your happiness for your marriage. You are a good guy. You tried to make your marriage work. I can't believe in spite of all that you did for her she just left. If you need anything I am there for you" Meredith tried to console her ex-boyfriend.

"Meredith you know nothing about my marriage or Addison. You have no right to judge her."

Meredith was taken aback by his raised voice. Derek also regretted it immediately.

"I am sorry Meredith. I am glad that you still think I am the good guy but the truth is I am not. I am responsible for failure of my marriage. Ever since she came to Seattle I have been nothing but a horrible husband to her. But she still stayed with me. And she would have stayed if I hadn't asked for a divorce."

Meredith was shocked and also little happy to know that Derek had asked for divorce. Maybe she had a chance now. This time Derek didn't miss the look on Meredith's face. He had to clarify few things with her.

"Meredith I like you. You helped me cope up in the darkest hours of my life. We both know our relationship after Addison's arrival was something more than friendship. I would have to admit that my feelings towards you are partly responsible for failure of my marriage. And now that Addison is gone, you must be expecting us to get back together."

Meredith was glad that he had finally hit the topic. She was eagerly waiting for his next words.

Derek contemplated his next words. "I have been thinking a lot recently. You know what I realized; our relationship wouldn't have lasted even if Addison hadn't come. We started in a drunken state, I held back most significant information from you, and we hardly had any real talks. It was my fault. When I came to Seattle I jumped into a relationship and ended up hurting you. I don't want to repeat my mistake. I don't want to rush into things. I just ended my almost 12 year's marriage. We had been together for last 15 years. We were Derek and Addison and now suddenly I am just a Derek again. I need time to sort things out. I have lots of baggage. I am not ready for a new relationship."

"I can wait"

"Meredith I don't want you to wait. I am a mess and I don't know how much time I will need. I don't want to drag you into all that again. Finn is a nice guy. Give him a real chance."

"Can we still be friends?"

"We could but I don't want our friendship to affect your relationship with Finn. I really want you to be happy Meredith."

"Thanks. But your friendship means a lot to me and I don't want to lose you."

Derek smiled and raised his glass "To our friendship"

"To our friendship"

Though Derek had agreed to be her friend she was hoping for more. So she chose to bury her disappointment her tequila. She poured her heart in front of her friends who then discussed the dynamics of Meredith and her now single ex-boyfriend at length. Some nurses happened to be around at the time who had keen interest in the topic. So when Derek entered the hospital in the morning, the confirmed news of his upcoming divorce had reached the entire hospital. He was little pissed at Meredith for spreading the news. But he knew yesterday he had broken her heart gain so he didn't say anything to her.

Another week had passed but he hadn't heard anything from Addison. Richard refused to give him any information. Derek wanted to call her but didn't know if that would be appropriate. If she wanted to be in touch she would have contacted him.

He was standing at the nurse's station looking at a patient's chart. Meredith was on his service again. As usual she was telling him about her sucking life and her naïve problems. First he used to love being her knight in shining armor. But now he had started losing interest in her daily whining. He was about to start his morning rounds when he heard a familiar laughter.

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for your reviews. Keep reading and reviewing

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Derek was standing at the nurse's station looking at a patient's chart. Meredith was on his service again. As usual she was telling him about her sucking life and her naïve problems. First he used to love being her knight in shining armor. But now he had started losing interest in her daily whining. He was about to start his morning rounds when he heard a familiar laughter.

After a well-deserved break of two weeks Addison was back to work. Chief and entire staff in her department were relieved that their star surgeon was back. Her replacement wasn't competent enough to handle all her workload. Her department was in mess in her absence. Her staff including the arrogant intern Karev had left her several voicemails begging her to come back soon. It was good to know that she was needed in Seattle at least in per professional capacity.

She was taking her morning rounds with Alex. He was telling her about the chaos in her department in his cocky style. She couldn't control laughing after hearing all the funny stories he was telling. She was in the hospital for two hours and luckily no one had bothered her about her personal life. So far her day was going good but then she saw them. Derek was standing at nurses' station with his intern. The sight wasn't very pleasant for her but she plastered a sweet smile on her face.

"Derek. Dr. Grey. Good morning"

She greeted them when she passed the nurses' station but didn't bother to stop or lower her speed. Derek returned her greeting but before he could say something more she disappeared in an examination room with Karev right on her heels.

Meredith didn't miss the wide grin on Derek's face upon seeing his ex-wife. Derek was glad to see her again. He wanted to talk to her but he knew they both had to finish their morning rounds and errands first. He was sure she would come to him in sometime during her morning break as she always did. For now knowing she was back was enough for him.

It was almost afternoon but Derek hadn't seen Addison again since their brief encounter in the morning. She was in the OR most of the morning. While he was waiting for the elevator he couldn't help but think about Addison. He couldn't point out what was it but she looked different today. When he stepped into the elevator he immediately recognized her familiar perfume. She was standing at the back studying some papers. Derek was little annoyed to see that Karev was again glued at her hip.

Derek wasn't very fond of the cocky intern and today it was irritating him more to see them together all the time. Well the feeling was mutual Alex didn't like the other Shepard either. Sure he was a great surgeon but Alex couldn't understand what all ladies saw in him. While working with the She Shepard, he had developed a soft corner for the redhead and that was another reason for him to dislike the other Shepard.

Addison was engrossed in the papers she was reading so she didn't notice Derek entering the elevator. He straight went to the back side to stand beside her.

"Hey. You are back. Good to see you." Derek said with genuine happiness.

"Hi. It is good to be back. Couldn't stay away from scalpel for long." She replied in a friendly tone but went back to studying her papers.

"Have you done anything? Something is different?" Derek couldn't control his curiosity.

Addison was little surprised at his sudden interest in her. "Different?"

"Yes. You are looking different. I mean good. You are looking good."

Addison couldn't help but blush a little at his complement. "Thank you. May be it's my tan. I also changed my wardrobe a bit." Addison generally preferred plain formal clothes at work but today she was wearing a light yellow pencil skirt with small flower prints and a white top. She was still in her holiday mood.

Derek continued to stare at her "No it's not your dress or tan. I can't point it out. May be it's your face. Did you get a new hair-cut?"

"It's her smile. That's new. May be you aren't used to seeing her happy Dr. Shepard." Alex interrupted smugly.

Addison glared at her arrogant intern, Derek chose to ignore him completely.

"How did you get tan? Where were you? Hamptons? Did you visit New York?"

Addison noticed the small edge in his voice while mentioning New York. "No I didn't. Actually I… " before she could finish Alex interrupted them again. The elevator had reached their floor. "Are you coming Dr. Montgomery-Shepard?"

"Hey I got to rush now, will talk to you later". Addison walked away from him for the second time.

Derek stared at her retracting figure dumbfounded. No matter how busy she was she could have spared few minutes for him. First of all she disappeared for two weeks without informing him and now she was completely ignoring him. Even though they were separated, he deserved some explanation.

**Two weeks ago

Addison was called in early for an emergency. Since then she had performed three back to back surgeries. It was like all her patients had decided to go into labor that morning. But that was what she needed that day. She needed to be in OR to keep away all painful thoughts. But she couldn't hide in OR for all day. And that was the problem, she had seen her soon to be ex-husband and his 12 year old intern together for the third time since morning. It was too painful to look at the man she loved with the new love of his life. It wasn't like it was the first time she had seen them together, but till yesterday even though he was with his intern, he was still _her_ husband. Now she had no right over that man. He could officially be with his girlfriend without pretending to be a good guy. She couldn't stand the thought of Derek being with someone else. That's when she decided that she had to leave.

She went to Richard, told him about her and Derek's decision and asked for some time off. As a chief of surgery he couldn't let his star surgeon go but as her friend he understood her condition and offered his full support.

She handed over all her patients to her fellow surgeons, completed some important paper work and headed to the trailer. Derek's trailer, the place which she called home for last few months. But it wasn't her place anymore. She quickly packed her clothes, shoes and other personal stuff. She didn't take any of 'their' stuff. Even though she hated that trailer it wasn't easy to leave and start a new life.

She had no idea where she was going till she had reached airport. Within an hour she was sitting in a flight which was taking her to the land of sunshine and beaches. LA it was.

Another shock was waiting for her in LA. Her best friends Sam and Naomi were also getting divorced. Naomi and Addison both needed a friend at the moment. Back in med school both were there for each other when they were falling in love with their respective soon to be ex-husbands and now they were going to be there for each other while dealing with their failed marriage.

Naomi took some time off from her practice and both women surrendered themselves in alcohol. Addison told Naomi everything that had happened in Seattle. Till then she hadn't told anyone about the way Derek was treating her. She felt guilty for cheating on him. Her guilt made her feel that she deserved Derek's punishment. They both cried endlessly for hours. Addison had finally let her emotions flow freely.

It was Addison's third day in LA but she hadn't stepped outside Naomi's house for once. Naomi had sent Maya to Sam's place so that she and Addison could get drunk carelessly. Somehow Sam came to know about their pity party and was worried about them. He sent Violet over Naomi's place hoping she could make them stop drinking. Violet tried her shrink thing on them but none of it worked.

When Sam came to check on them in the evening he found equally drunk Violet shedding tears with Naomi and Addison. Her boyfriend of three years had recently dumped her. All the three women were together mourning loss of their love. Addison and Violet had bonded well over their love for wine and hatred for their -exes. Both being a little crazy had helped to break the ice. Next day morning they were all experiencing the worst hangover of their life.

"I hate Derek" Addison groaned.

"You have said that 1000 times in last 4 days Addie." Naomi said as a matter of fact.

"No that was for breaking my heart. Now I hate him for this hangover. I am never drinking again."

"Let's see how long that resolution lasts"

Addison couldn't respond as she had to throw up again. The three women had settled in Naomi's bathroom since it was easier to throw up without moving much. They were still a bit intoxicated. After Addison it was Naomi's turn to throw up.

"I hate Sam. I hate him for making me throw up after every 2 seconds. It is his fault that we are getting divorce. He should be the one who is suffering not me." Naomi complained.

"Yes you are right." Addison looked at Naomi as if she had found a holy grail. "We shouldn't be suffering. We should be happy. The people for whom we are crying don't care. They have moved on with their life. They are enjoying their life without us, with their 12 year old intern. We should do the same. It's not our fault that they left us. Actually in my case it is.."

Before Addison could go on her guilt trip Violet interrupted her. By now she had known Addison's entire story. "Addison it is not your fault that your marriage ended. A year back it would have been, if your husband had signed the papers but now it's his fault. Your marriage ended because your husband fell in love with a girl half of his age in less than 2 months' time. You have already paid enough for your mistake. It is time to let yourself off the hook. Addison unless you forgive yourself you won't be able to move on."

"Right no more self-loathing. Whether you cheat or not your husband leaves you if he wants to. Violet didn't cheat on Alan but still he left her for another younger girl. Man with a midlife crisis and a younger babe is not a rare combination." Naomi assured her friend.

"It's their loss you know. We are great women. We are women not some immature teenagers. Any man would be lucky to have us. They didn't deserve us. And they don't deserve us wasting our precious time on them." Violet offered her wisdom.

"So here is the plan. We are going to be happy. That's the plan 'To be happy'. We are strong and independent we won't let any man rule our happiness" Addison concluded with determination.

The three still little drunk women had finally got some perspective while sitting in a bathroom hugging the toilet. But what mattered was that they had taken an oath to move on and be happy.

First step of their plan for happiness was to treat themselves with lots of shopping. They robbed almost every store in LA. They spent a day relaxing in an exquisite spa. Violet found out a perfect outlet for their pent up anger. They went to an adventurous sports parlor for gun shooting and bag punching.

Addison was in LA for a week now. She was in much better condition than she ever was in last few months. But she wasn't ready to go back to Seattle yet. LA suited her. There was no rain. There were no interns. People didn't call her Satan there. Naomi had offered her a job in their practice. She showed her a great beach house which Addison could buy if she moved to LA. The offer was really tempting but Addison didn't want to rush into anything yet.

She spent the next week with Naomi and her co-workers in their practice. She attended few patients, performed a few surgeries and helped other doctors with their patients. The practice was very different from the always busy hospitals. People in the practice were very friendly and co-operative. They had developed a bond with their co-workers and patients. It was like a family. The cute alternative medicine guy gave her acupuncture therapy to relax. He also taught her few breathing and yoga exercises to manage her stress.

One more important thing on her agenda was to get some tests done from Naomi. Though results of her tests were not what she wanted, she didn't let them spoil her mood. She was a doctor, considering her age she knew what her results were going to be.

Richard hadn't disturbed her in her vacation at all, but she knew her department was in mess from the infinite voicemails she had got from her staff. Though she liked the prospects of starting over in this new place, she couldn't just pack her life and leave. She had a contract with Seattle Grace. She knew Richard would let her go if she demands but he had invested a lot on her. He wanted to build world's best neonatal unit with Addison's help. She didn't want her personal life to affect her professional commitments.

So after two weeks she was back on a plane, but this time she was determined to start over fresh in the same old rainy city.

** It had been six hours since Derek and Addison's brief chat in the elevator. Derek knew that she didn't have any surgery since then but still she hadn't come to talk to him yet. It wasn't like her at all. Even though Derek always avoided her she used to visit him every now and then no matter how busy she was. Derek was getting frustrated while waiting for her. He decided to keep his ego aside and go and meet her.

After a little search he found her in NICU. She was sitting at the nurses' desk in the corner sharing some joke with the head nurse. Her dazzling laugh added to Derek's frustration. She had completely ignored him the whole day and instead of going to him she was now sharing some stupid jokes with her squashy and pinky staff.

"Would you please excuse us for a while?" Derek asked arrogantly to the nurse.

She got up from her chair immediately to leave them alone but Addison stopped her and gave her few instructions before she left.

"Did I disturb something important?" Derek asked Addison sarcastically.

Addison ignored his tone and answered politely. "No. I am just looking after some piled up paper work. Do you need a consult?"

"You have been avoiding me."

"No I am not. Why would I avoid you?"

"You said we will talk later. That was six hours ago. You have time to chit chat with nurses and interns but you couldn't find few minutes to talk to your _Ex_-husband." Derek had little edge in his voice by now.

"What's the big deal Derek? We talked in the morning then again in the elevator." Addison didn't really understand why he was upset. "What is your problem?"

"What is my problem? You pack your things and leave town without a word. You disappear for two weeks without bothering to inform me your whereabouts. Then you come back and act as if everything is normal. I deserve some explanation Addison." Derek was almost shouting now.

"Oh that's very rich coming from a man who did the same to his wife."

"Oh so this is your revenge." Derek spat.

"No Derek this is not revenge. You left your _wife_ without a word. I left my _ex-husband_ after leaving him a note. I didn't say where I was going because I didn't know either. And since you were busy mingling with your little 12 year old intern I didn't think that you would care about my absence." Addison couldn't control her anger either.

"Do not bring Meredith into this"

She flinched when he mentioned his intern's name. "It was you who brought her in our lives Derek. You couldn't even wait for our divorce to finalize to… " her voice was raised. She noticed some nurses in the NICU staring at them. She suddenly stopped and counted till 10 in her mind. She took few deep breathes and resumed talking in a soft voice. "Look Derek I don't want to do thing. We have already provided enough gossip to this hospital. I would like to maintain whatever little dignity that is left." Derek had also mellowed down a bit by then. He nodded in agreement.

Addison closed her eyes and took another deep breath. She opened her eyes with her trademark smile. "Derek I honestly though you wouldn't want me to bother you so didn't come to talk to you. But I am glad to know that you do. Yes you deserve an explanation and you would get one. But right now I really have to finish this paperwork. I am going crazy cleaning last two weeks' mess. Once I am finished with this we will sit together and discuss things like adults. I will be free in two hours why don't you meet me after that?" Addison said in a polite but firm tone.

Derek was stunned by the command in her voice. He couldn't protest. Though his shift was already over he decided to wait two more hours for her.

A/N: I am not sure how this chapter has come up. Hope you like it. It was just a feeler, but the main action will start soon. Let me know what you feel. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I still don't own GA. Though I would prefer owning PPP and bring Derek and Mark to LA.

Two hours later...

Addison had a long day. She wanted nothing but to go back to her hotel and surrender to sleep. But clearing some things with Derek was important and she couldn't put that off for long. She paged Derek to meet her on the rooftop. She preferred talking to him in private.

When she arrived Derek was already waiting for her with two cups of coffee and a sandwich for her.

"Thank you. I am starving." She accepted the sandwich gladly.

"I thought so." He gave her a charming smile and waited for her to finish her sandwich.

"I was in LA."

"LA? How are Sam and Naomi? How is Maya? How old is she now?" Though Derek was not good at keeping in touch, Sam and Naomi were one of their closest friends. He missed them.

"They are also getting divorced."

"What? Why?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"No one knows why. Not even Sam and Naomi. Sam asked for a divorce last month. He says he couldn't do it anymore. So one fine morning he just packed his bags and moved out." Addison replied sadly.

Derek was silent for some time. The news was too hard to process. He couldn't imagine two of his best friends who were so madly in love with each other getting divorced. Well he hadn't ever imagined that he and Addison would ever get a divorce but here they were. So much had changed.

"How is Naomi?" he asked with concern.

"Fine. She is going to be fine. We all are going to be fine. That's the plan." Though she was telling Derek it was more like assuring herself. Derek smiled sadly at her rambling.

"And how are you?" Derek asked her softly in genuine concern.

She smiled. "I am fine. Really. It wasn't easy at first. But I am dealing with it. People get divorced all the time. It is not the end of life."

Derek didn't know what to say. He just offered her a weak smile in agreement.

"This break away from the rain and the hospital really helped. I am in a much better condition now." She contemplated her next words for a moment before speaking "Derek I have forgiven myself." She looked at Derek for his reaction but he didn't say anything. He continued looking at her with sincere eyes. She continued "I will always regret what I did but I don't feel guilty anymore. I think I have paid enough to make up for my mistake. I want to leave all of that behind and move on. I am done being miserable. I am going to be happy. No I _am_ happy now."

"Good. I am happy for you then." Derek replied sincerely.

Addison wanted to ask how he was but that answer would involve mention of a certain intern and she wasn't ready to deal with that part yet so she avoided asking about him.

They both drank their coffee in silence. To clear the awkward air Addison decided to talk about some neutral topics.

"So tell me what all I missed in last two weeks. I heard the hospital had turned into a Soap Opera." She asked in her usual witty style. Derek laughed at that. Last two weeks were certainly eventful.

"I am sure the nurses must have already filled you in with the entire Burke, Danny, prom and Adel-Richard gossip."

"Yes I heard. I had no idea that Burke was shot. I called him in the afternoon. I will give him a visit in a day or two."

"Let me know when you are going. I will also join you if possible."

"Sure"

"Richard was really stressed out without you two. He must be ecstatic that you are back."

"Yeah he is." Addison shrugged. "After all I am the best attending of this hospital you know." Addison stated smugly. Derek just rolled his eyes.

"I though you won't come back." He admitted his fear.

"Honestly I had no idea what I was going to do. I was just taking the day as it came. But I decided to come back for Richard. He is expanding a wing for me. Professionally it's a great opportunity. And now that I don't have any other issues to worry about I can fully concentrate on building the best neonatal unit in the country." Addison confessed proudly.

"So you are staying." Derek grinned.

"Yes for now. I don't know if I want to settle down in Seattle but I will stay here for a while. I will complete my contract term. By then mostly this expansion will also be done. I will decide my next move after that. So mister you are stuck with your ex-wife for a while." She teased to lighten the mood.

Derek gave her a fake frown.

"But you are lucky because you have a perfectly amazing ex-wife." Addison spread her hands and bowed her head in mock modesty. Derek just watched her with amusement.

"I have thought about everything. We both are professional so there shouldn't be any problem while working together. What happened in NICU in the afternoon shall _never_ happen again. I have spent two weeks with constantly fighting exes and believe me they are not a very pleasant company. We should spare our colleagues from the trouble."

"As always you are right" Derek agreed with a mischievous smile.

"I know. So I have made some rules."

"Rules?" Derek asked with slight disgust in his voice.

"Yes rules for amicable divorce and civilized working environment." Addison said plainly.

"Oh" Derek pretended to consider her words seriously but she very well knew that he was mocking her. Addison was a control freak. She liked to think five steps ahead and plan everything in advance. Derek always used to make fun of her excessive planning and organizing.

"Do I need a paper and pen to note down these rules? May be I could hang the paper in my locker for quick reference."

"You are supposed to be a hot shot neurosurgeon Shepard. I think you should be able to remember these simple rules. But as a precaution I will also send you an email. That will save us from mistakes you might make while noting down."

"Thank you. I am overwhelmed by the confidence you have shown in me." He placed a hand on his chest for emphasis. Addison gave him a cheeky smile.

"That brings me to our very first rule:

We have to treat each other with utmost respect at all the times. So you can't call me names or yell at me in public or in private. I won't do that either."

"Ok I can do that" Derek agreed.

"We need to be perfectly professional at the hospital. We should treat each other in the same manner as we treat our other colleagues. In no way we should question other's medical expertise or authority especially in front of our _subordinates_." That was Addison's second rule. Derek didn't have anything to add so he just nodded in agreement.

Addison proceeded to state her next rule. "Even though we are not a couple anymore, in all matters related to our marriage or divorce we should be a team in front of our friends and family. It implies that we cannot blame each other for the divorce in front of people. We should tell everyone that this divorce is our mutual decision."

"You don't want to blame me for our divorced?" Derek asked in surprise.

"I do but not in front of other people. Let's not make our friends and family to take any sides." Addison had thought a lot about consequences of their divorce on their social life. They had been together for so long that all _his_ and _her_ friends and family had become _their_ friends and family. She didn't want to split those people like other assets.

"Ok. That makes sense. I don't want our divorce to affect our relationship with others."

"You may not agree with the next rule but you don't have any option. I have forgiven myself for Mark. You may or may not forgive me _but_ you can never, NEVER bring that up again. You have already punished me enough so that matter is closed now." For the first time since that night Addison didn't feel guilty while talking about her mistake in front of Derek. To Derek's own surprise he didn't flinch at the mention of his ex-best friend's name.

"Fair enough" Derek responded.

"And now the last rule. It is in extension of the previous rule. I get to bring up your little intern whenever I want." So far Addison was being rational so Derek had agreed to whatever she had said. But now she was going offbeat.

"So let me get this clear, I don't get to bring up Mark BUT you get to bring up Meredith?"

"Yes that's right" Addison replied nonchalantly.

"May I ask why?"

"Because I made the rules." Addison said as a matter of fact.

"Oh" Derek nodded in understanding. "Ok let me rephrase my question a bit. Why do _you_ get to make the rules?"

Addison looked at him as if he had asked the dumbest question on the earth.

"Ok let me put it this way." She started explaining as if he was a four year old child. She held out her fingers for counting.

"First: You left me. Not just once but thrice. Twice in New York. Before and after Mark. Then finally in Seattle.

Second: You gave me false hope of making our marriage work and made me move my entire life to this rainy city.

Third: You made me live in a trailer. A TRAILER!

Forth: Even though you were supposed to work on our marriage you didn't stop longing for your little intern without caring about how it made me feel.

Fifth: You ruined my Chrisman for a lifetime.

Sixth: You called .."

Before she could continue any further Derek interrupted her. He knew she could go on for the whole night if he didn't stop her. But there was no hurt in her voice. She was speaking as if she was explaining a law of physics.

"Ok Addie, I got it. Our divorce is entirely my fault and so you get to make the rules."

"You learn fast Derek." Addison smirked.

"So since _I_ made the rules, I can bring your little intern whenever I want. _But_ this rule needs to be seen in conjunction with Rule no. 2 and Rule no. 3. I can use your affair against you only when we are alone, not in front of our colleagues or friends. And since I am a better person than you are, I may not bring up your affair as much as you brought mine. And that is all I have to say" She finally concluded her long speech.

Derek was just amused "Do I need to sign anywhere in acceptance of the rules?" Derek chuckled.

"So you agree with me?" Addison wanted to confirm.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No"

"So after considering all the facts and evidences related to the matter, I extend my full consent to your proposal Dr. Shepard" Derek continued mocking Addison.

"I am serious Derek!"

"So am I Addison. I agree with all your rules."

"Good so we have a deal"

"Deal" Derek and Addison shook hands.

With those final words Addison turned to leave. She was halfway towards the door when Derek called her gain.

"Addie, don't forget to e-mail those rules to me. I might forget." Addison threw her empty coffee cup at him in return and left. Derek caught the cup before it could hit him. He laughed hard looking at her retracing figure.

'_Addie is back.' _That was all that he could think at that moment.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. This is a short chapter. Actually my originally planned chapter was getting very lengthy so I had to break it into two chapters. I am still working on next part hope I will be able to post it soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

***"You guys aren't together yet?" Addison asked in complete disbelieve.

Derek was peacefully enjoying his morning coffee break when his ex-wife interrupted him. Addison had assumed that the moment she had let him free her ex-husband would have jumped back in relationship with his girlfriend. But as per the hospital gossip the McDreamy and McIntern weren't a McCouple yet. So instead of wondering on her own she decided to ask him directly.

"Good morning to you too Addison!" Derek replied sarcastically. Addison returned a cheeky smile.

"Is it true that you are not with your _intern_?"

"You are right. My intern Dr. Yang is currently preparing my patient for the surgery so at this moment I am not with my intern." Derek was sick of everyone's involvement in his love life. Derek didn't want to talk about it especially with Addison so he just started walking away.

"You very well know what I mean Derek." She gave him a stern gaze while blocking his way.

"You are not my wife anymore so my relationship with Meredith is none of your business." Derek replied without even trying to hide his annoyance.

"Your relationship with her has played a major part in me not being your wife anymore. So you owe me an answer." Addison replied as calmly as possible.

"Addison I am tired of people asking me about my relationship with Meredith. I hate my personal life being subject of mass interest. " Derek confessed wearily.

"I am sorry I didn't realize I am 'people' now."

Derek gave a sigh "Addison you know I didn't mean that. And to answer your question I am not in any romantic relationship with Meredith."

Addison looked shocked. "Why? I mean now the wicked witch of the east has been thrown out what is stopping you guys now?"

"Guess what, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. Addison you are not the only one hurting. My marriage has ended too. I am divorcing the women who I thought was the love of my life. I need some time to mourn. It might be hard for you and everyone to believe but our marriage and our time together meant something to me. And i do not want to disrespect it by immediately hopping into another relationship." Derek was hurt to know that like everyone else Addison had also assumed that their marriage was nothing more than an obstacle in his relationship with Meredith.

Addison grinned widely at Derek's confession. Derek was confused. He had just poured his heart in front of her and she was enjoying his misery.

"May I ask what the source of your sudden happiness is?" Derek asked sarcastically.

Addison looked sheepish. "I am glad to know that our marriage meant something to you too. As cruel as it sounds I am happy that you are hurting." "I am Satan." She shrugged and left to resume work.

*** In the following weeks Addison and Derek maintained a cordial relationship at work. They shared pleasantries whenever their paths crossed. But Addison had maintained a safe distance with Derek. Anyways their busy schedule didn't allow them much time to catch up with each other. They were separated for almost one and half months now but they hadn't yet talked about further legal matters yet.

Since there was no broadcast of the golden romance between her ex-husband and his intern in the hospital hallways, working there wasn't as difficult as Addison had thought. As always she had heavy patient load but she had hired two more surgeons to assist her. She also had the expansion project to look after. She had no time to breathe. But she had maintained a good work life balance. She didn't want to be one of those people who had no life besides work. She made sure that she had sufficient time for herself.

Addison was becoming her old self again. She was making conscious efforts for getting her life back on track. In last year she had completely neglected her health but now she was taking good care of herself. She was taking therapy from a psychiatrist recommended by Violet. She had also joined weekend Rumba and self-defense classes. It was little weird to take dance lessons along with teenager kids but she was completely enjoying it. Since she was on her own now she though self-defense lessons would be useful. The truth was it was a good outlet to release her frustration.

People didn't see Addison as a Satan anymore. Addison was making new friends. She and Callie had become very close in short time. They often used to hang out together in their free time. Since they both had next day off, tonight they had decided to check out the new pub her dance classmates had recommended.

***Derek's life was exactly what he had wished for. He no more had a burden of working on his mortal marriage. Their separation was amicable. Addison had accepted the situation very gracefully. She was giving him space without being too distant. She never gave him any pining looks to make him feel guilty. Then there was Meredith. Even though he had hurt her badly she had forgiven him and was willing to give him another chance. Though they were just friends she always had a longing look in her eyes. He knew she was waiting for him to make some move. He had once thought that Meredith could dissolve all his problems. But apparently she couldn't.

He had thought that their marriage was making him and Addison both miserable and ending it would be good for everyone. And it had worked for Addison. She looked happy without him. But he wasn't. He was still as miserable as he was before. But he had assured himself that it was natural to feel this way after the end of such a long relationship and it would pass.

Derek has buried himself in work again. He was working extra shifts and volunteering to work in ER. When Derek arrived back at trailer that night it was already passed midnight. Generally after late surgeries he preferred sleeping in an on call room but he had morning off tomorrow so he decided to go home and catch up on some good sleep.

He locked his car and entered the trailer absentmindedly. He was so tired that he didn't even bother switching on the lights. He quickly stripped down to his boxers and crawled under the covers. Once he was settled in the bed he realized that he had a company. There was a woman sleeping peacefully in his bed.

A/N: I hated the way Addison and Derek's marriage was treated in season 3. The man spent more than 11 years with her. He wrote her a song. There had to be some good memories. How could he behave as if he had no life before meeting Meredith? Addison and their marriage deserved little more respect. The first part of the chapter was my tribute to their marriage.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I loved everyone's detailed reviews. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

Addison woke up with a severe headache next morning. First thing that she realized was her hotel bed didn't feel very comfortable today. Her room's ceiling also looked different. Oh No! It wasn't her hotel room. She sat up quickly in a shock.

"Good morning sunshine." A familiar male voice greeted her from the kitchen.

Addison couldn't comprehend the situation. She remembered going to the new pub with Callie. She remembered lots of dancing and lots of drinking. She had a blur memory of catching a cab but she couldn't remember anything after that.

"What the hell am I doing here?"

"Don't you think I should be the one asking that question" Derek replied while handing her a glass of water and an Aspirin.

"I don't know. I remember getting into a cab. But how did I end up in this bed? Did I say something when I came here?"

"I don't know either. When I came you were already in deep sleep in my bed. And being a nice guy I didn't throw you out in middle of the night." Derek replied casually after dropping himself down on the bed beside Addison.

"Nothing happened last night, right?" She asked awkwardly gesturing a hand suggestively between them. She examined the bed and herself. She was fully dressed in her last night's clothes. That was a good sign.

"No nothing happened, besides you kicking me several times and snatching away my blanket"

"This is so embarrassing." Addison groaned while getting up to use the bathroom.

When Addison came out after few minutes a black coffee was waiting for her. She sat across Derek at the tiny kitchen table. She was feeling very embarrassed in this situation. "Look Derek I am really sorry for breaking in at your place like this. I still don't understand why I came here. I don't even know how I got in the trailer in your absence."

"I think you used the keys." Derek gestured towards her keys laying on the counter near door. She still had the trailer's key in her key set. Addison was so uncomfortable that she couldn't even meet Derek's eyes. "It's okay Addison. You lived here for almost a year you must have given your old address to the cab driver out of habit. With all the alcohol in your system you must have forgotten that you live at Archfield now." Derek assured her with a warm smile.

His reasoning calmed her down and she relaxed a bit. "Thank you"

"For what?"

"For not throwing me out in middle of the night or calling the cops" Addison replied making them both laughed.

"That would have been fun but legally you are still my wife honey so technically you have not broken in." Derek commented while getting up to prepare some breakfast for them.

Hearing him call her 'honey' brought a small smile on Addison's face but she didn't allow herself to drift away "By the way Derek that reminds me, have you drawn the divorce papers?"

Derek shrugged his shoulders "No. I thought you would do that. You dealt with the lawyers last time."

"Exactly that's my point. I drew the papers last time this time you should. Why should I bear the cost twice?"

"Really Addie? You have a 25 million dollar trust fund and you are whining about the lawyer's cost?"

"Yes but I also have to pay for hotel bills, designer clothes and shoes. On the contrary you are a low maintenance wood chopping, flannel wearing fisherman who lives in a trailer. And we have already established that this divorce is your fault. So this time you are going to handle all the legal matters."

Derek rolled his eyes. Addison just wanted to be stubborn. "Fine I will take care of it. Do you know what the procedure is? Can we use the old papers?"

"I don't know they were drawn as per New York state laws, they might not be valid in Seattle. We need consult our lawyers. Since we don't have any child custody or alimony issues there shouldn't be many complications. Once the papers are drawn the whole process would take three to four months. But we would have to figure out how to divide our assets."

Derek sat down on the dining table with their breakfast plates. They eat their breakfast while catching up with each other's life. As expected Derek made fun of her dancing and self-defense classes. Addison advised him not to overstress himself with work. Once they had finished their breakfast Addison took both of their plates and washed them along with other utensils. It had been their routine for so long. Derek would cook and Addison would take care of further cleaning.

Addison dried her hands with a towel and joined Derek in the bedroom. He was sitting on bed with a notepad and pen in hand.

"Are you lucid enough to discuss about splitting our assets?" Derek asked her casually.

"Not completely but I think we could start discussing it." She crawled on the bed and sat beside him.

"Our major common assets include our properties, bank accounts and investments" Derek read out the list which he had made.

"Let's split the bank balances and investments equally." Addison replied nonchalantly. Derek nodded.

"Then we have Brownstone, Hamptons and this land in Seattle. You can have Brownstone and Hamptons. We can split this land in half." Derek offered a solution for splitting their properties.

"Derek, please don't do that. Don't try to take the entire blame on you. We are both responsible for where we are today. Let's share everything equally."

"Addison I don't want the New York properties. They hold too much of history I can't go back there."

"Neither can I. But I will take the Brownstone. You can have the entire land in Seattle. We can sell the Hamptons and split the money." Addison offered a reasonable solution.

"But you love the Hamptons."

"Yeah I do, but I can't go there alone or with someone else. It's _our_ place. And I love Brownstones more I don't want to sale that. No point in maintaining two dead properties when we are not going to use either of them. May be Archer or one of your sisters would like to buy it. They all love it. That way it would still be in the family."

Derek nodded in agreement. They had easily agreed to divide millions worth of assets in few minutes. "Good so it's settled. Is there anything else to discuss?" Derek asked.

"Yes there is yet a lot to discuss Derek. That was just the investments and properties. There is still the décor, electronics, gym instruments, our library collection, antics, old liquor collection, jewelry, photos, gifts, cutlery … " Addison tried remembering all important items.

"Oh god we own a lots of stuff don't we." Derek chuckled

"Yeah we do."

"Thanks to a very shopaholic wife."

"Don't blame it all on me. You were the one who had to buy every available gazette in the market."

"I like being up-to-date with the technology."

"Oh is that why you have this 1953's TV model in your house?" Addison pointed out the small TV in the trailer.

"I want one of the TVs" They had a TV in each bedroom in both Brownstone and Hamptons.

"Take whichever you want." Addison replied nonchalantly.

"I will take the LCD that is in Hampton's living room. If you don't mind I would like to have the stereo system as well."

"Okay"

"What about the other stuff in Hamptons and Brownstone? Where do we start? How are we supposed to divide our life of 12 years in few days?" Addison groaned in frustration.

"What do you plan to do with Brownstone? Are you going to rent it out?" Addison just shook her head. Derek took charge of the situation and said "Look, you can keep the Brownstone as it is. We can sale Hamptons with the furniture. But we should personally visit both the houses and make list of all our belongings. Once we have the list we will sit down again and decide who gets what. How does it sound?"

"I think that's logical. We can't decide about those assets from 3000 miles away sitting in this trailer. Let us just decide about the stuff that is here." Addison said while glancing around the room.

"We don't have anything here"

"The trailer. I want this trailer." Addison demanded with a spark in her eyes.

"WHAT? You hate this trailer. What are you going to do with the trailer?"

"I need this trailer to blow it off. I always had this wild fantasy to see the trailer burning down in flames." Addison closed her eyes to imagine it happening. "The mere thought of it is making me so wet." Addison admitted still lost in her fantasy.

"Oh is it? Let me check it for myself." Derek smirked and motioned his hand towards Addison's clit.

She noticed his advancing hand and slapped it away.

"I am not giving you my trailer. I will fight for it till my last breath." Derek replied while trying to maintain a straight face.

"Oh. Let us take the matter to the court then" Addison teased back in a competitive tone.

She looked around and noticed Derek's i-pod on the side table. "I want that i-pod"

"That is _mine_. And from what I remember you happen to own one too."

"Yeah but mine is not working. Something is wrong with the display."

"Try charging the battery once in a while" Derek offered a solution sarcastically.

"I am not that dumb Derek."

"You might not be but you are technologically challenged baby." Derek replied with a cheeky smile.

"Shut up. I paid for both the i-pods. I have a right to take it back. Give me _my_ i-pod back NOW."

Derek gave her a mischievous smile and leaned closer to her. "I clearly remember paying for this ridiculously expensive dress. By the same logic I have a right to take it back. Give me my dress back NOW" he leaned further and started slowly pushing a strap of her dress from her shoulder.

Addison gave him a pout while pulling the strap back. "May be we can consider this dress as part of alimony."

"Alimony? Addison you should be the one paying alimony. You make more money that this poor husband of yours."

"From what I have heard his poor husband of mine is a hot shot brain surgeon and happens to earn quite well for himself."

"No I am planning to demand hefty maintenance from you so that I can quit my job and become a full time fisherman."

"You have my full support honey. I know if you keep working hard one day you can become a world renowned fisherman." Addison mocked him.

"Thank you I will need your moral and _financial _support at every step to achieve my dream"

Addison and Derek both laughed like kids over the idea. They both loved talking nonsense like that. In med school they used to cuddle entire night talking and bantering. Derek was an introvert but with Addison he could talk about anything. That was what drove him towards Addison at first. It was always easy talking to her be it about studies, sports, politics, his family, his dreams or his late dad. She understood him so well. So was the case with Addison. Though she was very talkative, Bizzy's upbringing didn't let her express any real feelings. She had built a strong wall around her heart not to let anyone inside. But Derek easily broke it and found his way to her heart. Addison could confide anything in Derek. They were best friends and that was the strength of their relationship.

"By the way I want your University's sweatshirt" Addison suddenly remembered.

"You can have that. Anyways I think I wore that sweatshirt last time 10 years ago. Since then it has been in your sole custody. I am sure right now it is somewhere in a closet in one of the Archfield's room." Derek chuckled.

"Yeah it is. I am just making it clear in advance so there won't be any conflicts later. I want your shirts too."

"Addison my $ 2,000 suite shirts are worth more than a nightwear"

"But I like sleeping in them. And those classy shirts won't go well with your new fisherman image."

They were interrupted by ringing of Derek's cell phone.

"Hello- Hey hi- Is it about any patient? Because I am not in the hospital right now, I have a morning off. - Oh you have an off too? Good. - "

Addison quickly understood who was on the other end of the line. She excused herself and went into kitchen to give him some privacy. Though she wasn't trying to eavesdrop, the place was too small not to hear

"- Lunch? -Won't be possible. I am busy right now. - No I have to go to the hospital later in the afternoon. - May be some other time. - Anyways you have fun. See you tomorrow. - Bye"

"Derek where are my chocolate chips cookies?" Addison asked from the kitchen while searching the cabinets.

"There aren't any. I eat them"

"YOU EAT ALL MY COOKIES?" Addison shouted while closing the cabinet more forcefully than required.

"Sorry honey I didn't know you were gonna come after one and half months to claim them." Derek replied sarcastically

"I am starving here and there is nothing to eat."

"You just had a breakfast. And there are some cereals in the left cabinet."

"I am still hungry and I don't want cereals."

Addison came back with a hot cup of coffee and a bag of potato chips.

"I almost forgot your love for healthy food" Derek commented looking at the bag of chips.

Addison chose to ignore his sarcasm. It had started raining and the trailer was also a bit cold. She searched for her jacket but couldn't find it so she just pulled the bed covers around her tighter.

"Where is grandma's blanket?" Addison asked referring to the handmade blanket Derek's grandmother had gifted them on their first Christmas after marriage. "I call dibs on the blanket" she added quickly.

"No I want that blanket. She was my grandmother and I want it as her memory." Derek protested while taking a sip of Addison's coffee.

"She might be your grandma by blood but she loved me more. I want to have her memory too. You can have our all other expensive comforters." Addison tried to negotiate.

"Addison its grandma's blanket and I think it should remain in the family." Derek immediately regretted saying that. He knew his words had hurt Addison. She had always thought of Derek's family as her own. She was closer to them than her own family.

"How about a 'joint custody'? We can both have the blanket for pre-determined months." Derek tried to cheer her up.

That quickly changed Addison's mood. "I think that will be in everyone's best interest. I will have the blanket in winter you can have it in summer." Addison said while taking her coffee back from Derek.

Derek noticed some medical journals on the side table. "What should we do with our library?" Derek thought about their huge collection of books ranging from medicine to literature, video tapes of their own and other's interesting surgeries, music records, films.

"I want to have it all" Addison replied smugly. She just wanted to pull Derek's leg.

"Woman, don't be so greedy. Let your poor husband have something."

"Even if I let you have them, where are you going to keep them Derek? You live in a trailer. There is hardly any place in here."

"Don't worry about it. There is lots of empty space since your enormous shoe collection is gone. Or if you allow I could rent a room in your brownstone to keep all my precious possessions safe."

"I will consider your request later. But on a serious note, we can make one more copy of all our tapes and CDs. I will take all OBGY and neonatal related books, you can have all neuro material. We can divide rest of the items as per our interest. I am sure you have no interest in my chick novels or classic English literature. I definitely don't need your Star Wars, Harry Potter or other kid's stuff."

"That is not kid's stuff. Your brain is not evolved enough to understand it."

They spent the remaining morning fighting over trivial things which included coffee mug, pen set, scrub caps, photo frame, pickle jar and alarm clock. Derek looked at his watch to check the time.

"What time do you have to leave?"

"In 5 minutes" Derek replied while brushing his hair.

"ahhh. I don't want to come out of this bed. I am comfortable here." Addison groaned sliding further under the comforter.

"Then don't. You can stay here if you want."

"No I will leave with you. My need a ride to the hospital. I left my car there last night."

Addison quickly made her look presentable and started picking her things. She took the trailer's key out of her key set to return it to Derek. "Derek your key."

"Keep it. You might need it again when you are drunk next time." Derek answered with a chuckle.

They drove in silence for a while.

"I had a good time." Derek confessed all of a sudden. "I don't remember when was the last time I laughed so much."

"I had a great time too. Divorcing you is fun. We should do this more often."

"What? Divorce each other?"

"Yeah" They both had another fit of laughter at Addison's weird suggestion.

When they were on the ferry Addison noticed Derek staring at her.

"What?"

"I am just thinking about how things have changed. When we were married I pretended not to notice you on ferries. And now we are separated but I am happily sharing a ferry ride with you. There was a time when I couldn't even talk a full sentence to you. But talking with you is so easy now. Just like old times."

"That is because I am not your adulterous wife anymore. You don't have any obligation to try to forgive me or make things work. Now you are not talking to me out of an obligation, you are talking because you want to. That's why it's so easy."

They both locked their eyes for a while. Addison broke the eyes contact first and gave him a small smile.

"We are in a better position now than we were when we were together. This is better. It was a right decision." She said to assure them both.

"Yeah it was a right decision." Derek repeated still lost in his thoughts. "Addison I don't want to lose you. We failed as a couple but we could still be good friends. I don't want to lose my best friend too." Derek looked at her with pleading eyes.

"I don't want to lose my best friend either." Addison replied with a bright smile.

A/N: I know it was a long chapter and nothing really happened in there. Sorry for the rambling but it is not my fault. Addie and Derek talk too much and they often tend to drift away from the point. I hope you liked it. I would love to know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews. I am so glad you liked the last chapter, I loved writing it. Here is the next one.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Ever since Addison had returned from LA, every single guy in the hospital wanted to date her. Every now and then someone would come and ask her out. Though she was enjoying the sudden attention and wooing, she had politely turned down every single request.

Derek saw Addison talking to Head of Oncology and then him leaving with disappointment. Once Dr. Porter had left, Derek quickly went to Addison to tease her. "It seems you broke one more heart today" She just smiled. "I thought Dr. Porter would have a chance. He is your type. Intelligent, handsome, wears suits and newly divorced." She ignored Derek's teasing and took a sip of his coffee. Though she had performed only one surgery since morning she was already feeling tired.

"You know people are betting on who your first one is going to be." Derek didn't want to let go the topic. That many men asking his ex-wife and more importantly her turning them all down was kind of an ego booster for him.

"I heard McDreamy is in quite a demand too." Addison said while winking her eye.

Hospital's female staff was happy that McDreamy was single now. But most of the interested candidates preferred staying away from 'Meredith - Derek' drama.

"Yeah I am but not as much as you." Derek gave her a fake pout. "But seriously you must have made some record of turning down maximum number of men in a month. What is the matter with you woman? People in this hospital need an explanation. Why are you turning everyone down? " Derek continued mocking her. But suddenly his mood changed. He couldn't believe the scene in front of him. Chief was shaking hand with who appeared to be a new attending.

"Oh! Now I know why, because your _boyfriend_ is here." He spat at Addison looking furiously over her shoulder. Addison heard a familiar voice calling her name from behind. Her mouth went dry hearing his sound. Before Addison could say anything she felt a pair of lips pecking hers.

"Good morning colleagues" Mark greeted Addison and Derek cheerfully. Derek gave them both a disgusting look and walked away.

Addison just looked at Mark in shock. He had just kissed her on lips. The kiss made her feel nauseous. She ran towards the nearest dustbin in the corner and threw up her entire breakfast. Mark was about to go after her when Miranda and Callie blocked his way.

* * *

Meredith had started losing her patience now. Derek and Addison were separated for two months now but still Derek hadn't made any move. And then there was Finn, he was getting serious and wanted a commitment. When Derek asked her for some time, considering his past record she didn't expected him to take so long. She was afraid that Derek wasn't interested in her anymore. He didn't give her _'that'_ look anymore. There was no tension while sharing elevator rides. He was behaving like 'an actual' friend not like 'not-friend' as they were before. To add to her tension lately Addison and Derek had become friends. They talked and laughed in hallways, they discussed their work even though it wasn't related to each other's specialty, they had lunch together once, they shared their drink or snack which she thought was disgusting even when they were married and on top of all that two days back she saw Derek kissing Addison on cheek while leaving. She had to do something before Satan could steal her McDreamy again. She was lost in her thoughts when Derek approached her.

"Good morning Meredith. Would you like to go out for dinner with me tonight?" Derek asked her with a bright smile.

"Dinner? Tonight? Yes I would love to." She replied with excitement without wasting a second.

"Ok then I will pick you at 7 from your place." He gave her a McDreamy smile and went away.

* * *

Addison spent her whole day hiding in NICU or OR. She was desperately avoiding Mark. She couldn't stand the thought of working with him. Three of them working together would be a recipe of disaster. She knew Mark and Derek very well. Mark would definitely do something childish like kissing her to spite Derek and Derek would react to it in his own childish manner exactly the way Mark wants him to. That was the reason why she hadn't told Mark about her divorce. She knew after knowing she was single he would immediately land in Seattle. But despite her best efforts to hide her divorce from Mark, he had got the news somehow. He had been in the hospital just for a day, she hadn't even talked to him yet but still she was already feeling emotionally and physically exhausted by his presence. And then there was Derek. She was pretty sure whatever friendship they have had in last few weeks was already over. She remembered the disgusting look Derek gave them in the morning. She had also heard about his date tonight. Well that wasn't so hard to find out. By the afternoon whole hospital knew about the long awaited date. Their date added to her stress even more. She knew whatever progress she and Derek had made in last few weeks was wiped away by Mark's arrival. Who were they kidding anyways? She should have known better that their act of amicable divorce wouldn't last for long especially when the greatest problems in their marriage Mark and Meredith were back on stage.

She hadn't even eaten anything the whole day fearing that she might run into Mark or Derek in the Cafeteria. She couldn't be in the hospital anymore. She just wanted to go back to her hotel room, curl up in her comfortable bed and never get up again. But the universe hated her today. She met her new neighbor in the hotel elevator.

"Really? Archfield?" She asked in a tired voice.

"Yep. Same floor." Mark replied her with a cheeky smile.

"Mark I have no energy to deal with you right now. Just leave me alone." Addison almost begged him.

"Red I flew across the country for you and is this how you are gonna treat me?" Mark looked hurt by her indifference.

Addison knew how persistent Mark was and avoiding him wouldn't be of any use. She invited him in her room to talk.

"Why are you here Mark?"

"Because I love you Red. Why don't you believe it? I am in love with you and I want to be with you."

"Please don't start that again Mark. I have already told you I don't love you. I can't be with you."

"But why not Red? We would be great together. Don't you remember how much fun we had together in last year? Addie we didn't know it then but we were kind of dating for a while. We went out to fancy and messy places for dinners, we watched chick and action movies together while making fun of each other, we attended all family functions and holidays together, we spent numerous evenings on your couch eating ice-cream while watching TV and I went to shopping with you couple of times. I hated most of those things but I loved doing them with you."

"Mark…" Addison didn't know what to say.

"I know you loved Derek but he doesn't care Addie. He doesn't want to be with you. He has moved on. Your marriage is over and now you have no choice but to admit it. You need to move on too. Red we could be happy together. I care about you, I want to be with you, I don't want just the hot sex, I want to be in a relationship with you, I want to cuddle whole night while talking to you, I want to go to Paris on a holiday with you, I want to buy ridiculously expensive antic for our house with you, I want to grow old with you. I don't want to be a man-whore anymore. I want to have a family and I want it with you. Just give us a chance Red. Please believe me."

Addison was overwhelmed by Mark's speech. "Mark I do believe you. I know there is a nice man behind your man-whore facade. I also know that what we did that night was more than just some random sex for you. It is my fault. I shouldn't have played with your feelings. I feel horrible for using you like that. Mark I feel terrible for breaking your heart again but I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone right now. There is a lot on my plate right now. I am still struggling to cope up with everything that is happening. I made a mistake of letting a man define me. I gave him too much of control over my heart. Right now I am just trying to stand on my own and take back the control. I don't want to rush into another relationship before healing completely. I am not ready."

"Do you think you will ever be ready to be with me?" Mark asked desperately.

"Mark I love you. You are my best friend. You have always been there for me whenever I needed you. I will always be grateful for what you have done for me. But for me what we did that night was a mistake, a mistake which ruined my marriage. Unfortunately you will always remind me of the greatest mistake of my life. I will never be able to have a guilt free relationship with you.

Mark I have no doubt that your feelings for me are genuine. But there is a slight chance that you might not be in love with me but the _idea_ of me. May be you have finally grown and ready to settle down. Mark you never gave any girl a real chance. I am the only constant girl in your life. All those things you mentioned that you hated but loved doing with me. May be you don't hate them as much as you think. I am sure if you try you will find a wonderful girl that you truly deserve to build a happy family with. My Marky deserves more than an old, damaged and divorcee woman pining over her failed marriage." Addison added the last comment with her radiant smile to lighten the mood.

* * *

Both Derek and Meredith were nervous about their date. Technically it was their first date ever. Even before Addison they hadn't done much outside hospital or Meredith's house. Knowing Meredith wouldn't be comfortable at big fancy place, Derek chose a decent restaurant in the town. They tried small talks on their drive to the restaurant but failed miserably at it. Derek resorted to playing on the radio to kill the awkward silence.

Luckily it was a crowded place which offered them plenty of interesting people and things to observe. Before placing the order they studied their menu cards intensely for some time as if it was an important medical case. In her nervousness Meredith spilled her glass of water on her pant which made Derek laugh instantly. But that didn't go well, apparently Meredith didn't like being laughed at. Seeing the look on her face Derek refrained from mocking her any further. They resorted to the only common topic of interest, surgery and hospital. Meredith told him about some interesting cases she got a chance to assist in. Her excitement and enthusiasm about simple procedures and surgeries reminded him of his internship days. He told her some stories from his med-school and internship days, intentionally avoiding the once including Addison and Mark. She told him hot hospital gossip and what was happening with her intern friends. He already knew most of that but still pretended to be interested in it. Their dinner finished better than how it had started. When Derek dropped Meredith back at her place she invited him inside for a coffee but Derek declined the offer giving lame excuse of an early surgery.

* * *

"Can we at least be friends?" Mark asked her vulnerably.

"I would like that. But first I need to get over Derek and you need to get over me. But I promise we will be friends." Addison assured him squeezing his hands.

"Mark if you really love me, I need you to do two things for me." Addison felt terrible for using his feelings against him like that but she had no choice.

"Say it Red, I will do anything for you." Mark replied immediately.

"I need you to go back to New York. I can't have you here. At least not right now. I have a lot going on right now. I need my space. And this hospital has already intruded in my personal life a lot more than I can tolerate. I don't want to have any more drama involving me. I am trying to earn the respect I deserve. Three of us working here together would make the matter worse. So I am begging you to go back home."

"Okay. If that is what you want. What is the second thing that you need?"

"I need you to tell me who told you about my divorce."

Mark stammered a bit "I heard it through grapevine. Our common friends." Mark tried to give some vague answer.

"No you didn't. Because not many people in New York know about it. I know neither of our friends or family told you because I specifically asked them not to. So it must be someone from Seattle and I need to know who it was."

To be continued…


	9. Chapter 9

The usual disclaimer.

* * *

Next day when Derek came back from his morning walk he saw Mark standing on his porch. Derek thought of turning back and running into woods again but he knew Mark would follow him. So instead of leaving he chose to completely ignore his unwanted guest. He went straight to the door without another glance at Mark. But before he could close the door behind him, Mark pushed it wider and came inside without waiting for any invitation. Mark just stood at the door with a straight face and arms crossed across his chest. Derek continued ignoring him and carried on his morning routine. Mark knew Derek too well and he had expected this kind of treatment. He didn't say a word just continued watching Derek's every move intensely. After 15 minutes Derek couldn't tolerate his ex-best friend's presence anymore and decided to break the silence.

"What do you want?" Derek asked angrily.

"I want to talk with you. Let me know when you are ready." Mark replied calmly without tearing his intense gaze.

"Try after 30 years may be I will be ready then."

"I am afraid we don't have that much time. I have a flight to catch and you have to be in the OR in few hours. I am blocking your only escape route and I am not leaving until you listen to what I have to say." Mark replied with a smirk.

"Why do you have to catch a flight? I thought you took a job here." Though Derek was not in a mood to talk with Mark, he couldn't control his curiosity.

"I did but now I am going back home and before leaving I wanted to talk to you." Mark replied a bit sadly.

"What do you want to talk about?" Derek asked disinterestedly.

"Yankee's last game!" Mark replied sarcastically. "Derek I am here to apologize for everything that happened. Just give me a chance to explain."

"You need to work on your behavioral skills. Generally people try to be less arrogant while apologizing to others."

"Yeah but generally other people are less stubborn when someone comes to their door asking for forgiveness."

"YOU SCREWED MY WIFE IN MY BED"

"I DIDN'T SCREW HER"

"You are unbelievable. I caught you both making out in my bed and you have a nerve to deny the fact that you slept with her."

"I am not denying that I slept with her but Derek it was not what you think."

"What is there to think? You are a man-whore. You have slept with the entire New York City. May be Addison was the only one remaining and you though why to spare her so you screwed her as well. It didn't matter to you that she was your best friend's WIFE. Only thing you ever cared for was HOT SEX."

"It wasn't just hot sex for me. I love her. I had been in love with her for a while I just didn't know it till that night. I didn't screw her, I made love to her. For the first time in my life I made love to someone." Mark honestly confessed his feelings for Addison to Derek. But Derek didn't take that too well.

"That someone you are taking about is my WIFE" Derek tried to punch Mark but this time Mark was prepared so he could stopped Derek midway.

"No she isn't anymore. You asked for a divorce remember?" Mark gave a cocky reply.

"But she was when you …." Derek couldn't finish the sentence. He was furious at Mark for claiming to have made love to _his_ wife. "But clearly neither of you bothered to care about our marriage or me."

"Derek believe me I am really sorry for doing that to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I hadn't planned any of this. It just happened. She was upset that evening. I just went there to comfort my best friend as I always did. I hadn't seen her in such a bad state ever before. I just held her close to make her feel better. She was sobbing on my chest. I kissed her on her forehead as just a friendly gesture. Even with those puffy eyes, mascara stains and red nose she looked beautiful. Next thing I knew was my lips were on hers. She hesitated first but then gave in. And you know the rest." Mark recalled the events of that night. Derek's heart was physically hurting by Mark's words. He wanted to scream and make him shut up. But he was too numb to react.

"I dint know I was in love with her till I kissed her. It should have been obvious though. She is Addison. How can a person spend so much time with her and not fall in love. Derek _you_ made me fall in love with her. You made me date your wife so that you could cut into people's brain. You can't really blame me for falling in love with her. And when we made love I thought she loved me too. But for her I was just your replacement. She wasn't in a condition to understand what she was doing. I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that. But I just couldn't stop myself. It is not her fault Derek. She missed you. She wanted you. She doesn't want to be with me."

Derek was still silent. He was just trying to process what Mark had just said.

"I hate you Derek Shepard. I am jealous of you. You had the most amazing woman a man could dream of and you didn't value her. And in spite of the pain you have caused her that woman still loves you. I love her. I promised her the whole world but she rejected me. Not just once but thrice. After you left New York I wanted her to move on with me but she refused, she waited for you and after Webber's call immediately flew to Seattle for you. When I came here last time I asked her to come home with me but she chose to stay with her husband who was openly pining for another girl. And now even when you are separated she still doesn't want to be with me. She asked me to go back and that is why I am going back home _alone_." Mark sounded defeated.

Hearing that Addison wasn't interested in Mark was a relief for Derek. He still couldn't digest the thought of his best friend being in love with his wife. But he also felt bad for Mark. He had never seen him so vulnerable before. But he wasn't going to offer him any comfort. What they did was still wrong. Mark had no right to fall in love with Addie or sleep with her especially when she wasn't in her best condition.

"Why was she upset?" Derek asked in a low voice.

Mark just gave him a confused look so Derek asked again. "Why was she upset that night?"

"You don't know?" Mark asked surprised. Derek just shook his head.

"What exactly did she tell you about that night?" Mark asked skeptically.

"We never talked about it." Derek replied avoiding Mark's eyes. Till now it had never occurred to Derek to ask her exactly what happened that day and what lead her to do something like that.

"I think you should talk to Addison. It is not my story to tell."

"She wasn't your wife to screw either but that didn't stop you."

"Derek look I have said I am sorry. I can't take back what I have done. I am sorry that your marriage has ended. But Derek it didn't end because of what we did. Your marriage was already falling apart I just pulled the trigger. And Derek you made no efforts to save it. So don't blame it all on me. I came here because I thought I owe you an apology. I think of you as my brother. I feel awful for betraying my brother like that. Derek I am ready to do whatever it takes to have my best friend back. But I know that would be a lot to ask so I am just asking you to accept my apology and try to forgive me if you can."

"There is one thing you could do to have your friend back. You could tell me why she was upset. Did anything bad happen to her?" Derek asked almost pleading Mark to tell.

"That's childish Derek. You can't blackmail me like that for telling you. But don't worry, nothing bad happened to her. You know her she appears all strong and confident but sometimes she gets insecure and starts doubting herself. She felt lonely that night and though she wasn't good enough for you. She thought you didn't love her anymore and while trying to assure her how wonderful she is I ended up making love to her." Mark told him half of the story. He could see Derek was genuinely concerned. But Derek needed to hear it from Addison not him. That was the problem in their marriage, they failed to communicate.

Mark gave a sad smile to Derek thinking about how messed up life had become. Derek reciprocated the feeling.

"It is too soon but may be one day we could be friends again. Have a safe flight."

"Thanks" Mark stood there for a moment contemplating whether to hug is old friend or not but decided against it and left without another word.

* * *

Addison was terribly late for work today. Actually she had woken up early (_because she hadn't slept last night at all_) and was ready for work before time. But when she was about to leave a wave of nausea hit her and before she knew it she threw up again. So she had to change her clothes, shower and rest a bit and in all that she got late but she didn't care. She placed per things in her locker and went in search of a particular intern. She didn't need to look for long. Baily and all her interns were in a patient's room. Interestingly it seemed to be a neuro case, her ex-husband was there too. She stormed into the room and interrupted Meredith who was presenting the case.

"Sorry to disturb you Dr. Shepard and Dr. Baily but I need Dr. Gray." She apologized as a professional courtesy but her stern tone made it very clear that she didn't mean it. "Gray, follow me you are on my service this week." She ordered the intern and turned to leave without another glance at anyone else in the room. She reached the door and noticed that Meredith hadn't moved a bit from her place. "Dr. Gray are you incapable of processing a simple order of following your boss?" Addison asked with a stern gaze. Meredith looked at Derek expecting him to rescue her but he chose not to interfere.

Baily decided to speak for her intern, Meredith had been working on this patient from beginning and she was going to scrub in for the surgery in the afternoon. "Addison, she is working on Mr. Jones's case .." Addison didn't let her finish "Not any more. Dr. Karev, take over the case. Gray hand over the charts and follow me". By the look on Addison's face everyone knew it was better not to argue.

Meredith had to almost run to catch up with Addison. How could that woman walk so fast in high heels?

"Do you want me to take morning rounds? Are there any specific cases that I need to take over from Alex?" Meredith asked nervously trying to match Addison's speed.

"No you don't. Actually you won't be seeing any patients at all. Go report to Mrs. Terresa my head nurse she needs some assistance for completing our paperwork for the expansion project." She replied while picking up a chart from nurses' desk.

"You pulled me from a real medical case to assist a nurse in paper work?" Meredith asked in frustration.

"Yes." Addison replied nonchalantly without looking up from the chart. "Those reports need to be checked by a doctor and my time is very valuable to go through all of them. So go and do as Mrs. Terresa says. I have already briefed her about everything. And Gray for you this work may not be as important as a brain surgery, but it is important for my expansion project and I expect nothing but perfection. Don't give me a chance to complaint" Addison gave her a threatening look and started walking away.

Meredith couldn't believe that was happening to her. "Addison" Meredith called her when she was about to enter the elevators. "I mean Dr. Montgomery" she immediately corrected herself when Addison raised an eyebrow. "It's Dr. Montgomery-Shepard." Addison replied. She hadn't yet decided about changing her name and she definitely wasn't going to allow an intern to do that for her.

"Dr. Montgemary-Shepard, you can't do this to me. I understand that you might be upset because of my date with Derek but .."

"First of all, I am the head of two departments; I can do whatever I want. Second, I am completely professional. I come here to save patients and teach young doctors. I don't care what you do in your personal life but I definitely need to teach you to be professional and not interfere in your colleagues' personal life especially mine. I think a week of paper work away from patients and OR would teach you that."

Meredith understood why Addison was so mad at her. Mark must have told the dirty mistress' secret to Addison.

"Addison I didn't mean to interfere but he really loves you. I thought.." Meredith tried to explain but again Addison didn't let her finish.

"That's your problem Dr. Gray. _You thought_ when there was no need for you to think about my personal life. Let me make things clear for once and all, I have tolerated you intern's immature behavior and inappropriate gossips for long. I tried to be friends with you but now I have no obligation to tolerate any of this. You are just an intern and I am an attending. Believe me if I want I can make your life hell. Your McDreamy called me Satan for a reason. This is my first and last warning to you. Stay away from my personal life."

By now they had gathered some audience. Derek and other interns had also come out from Mr. Jones room. They had heard half of the conversation and were trying to figure out what was going on between Satan and Mer.

"Addison what is going on? Why did you pull Meredith off the case?" Derek interfered.

"Dr. Shepard it is my way of disciplining my interns. If you have any problem with my way of training, feel free to take the matter to the Chief." Addison replied sternly and left leaving everyone including the Nazi stunned.

"What did you do?" Derek asked frightened Meredith. He knew Addison was harsh but she won't take such step without reason.

"I called Mark" Meredith replied sheepishly.

"What? Why would you call him?" Derek couldn't believe Meredith had done something like that.

"You aren't together anymore. She looked lonely. I though she needed someone. He loves her. And he cares for her."

"She is doing perfectly fine. She doesn't need him." Derek was furious. "Did you even care about how I would feel about it? Do you ever care about someone other than yourself? This is what you always do. You are always so wrapped up in your own pity that you never realize that your immature actions have consequences which affect other people. Or is it that you thought about the consequences and did that on purpose? Did you call him to make me jealous so that I would come crawling back to you? How stupid I am. I let you and Mark play with my emotions. Did you enjoy messing up with my brain?"

"Derek I didn't mean to hurt you. Please believe me. I care about you. We are friends aren't we?" Meredith was desperately trying to repair the damage but was failing miserably.

"No we aren't anymore. If you were really my friend you wouldn't have helped Mark to win my wife. Our friendship was a mistake and its over. " Derek gave her a cold look and walked away.

* * *

A/N: Even though I hate Meredith, I feel a bit sorry for her. Both Addison and Derek were too harsh with her. Well Addison has a right to be, no one should mess up the She Shepard. Derek might have overreacted but he is Derek that's what he does plus he is very sensitive about Mark topic. Let me know what you think.

Next chapter might take a bit longer; I am taking a week's vacation and may not get time to update. Apologies in advance.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks a lot for your lovely reviews. Keep reading and reviewing

The usual disclaimer.

Derek had been looking for Addison everywhere. Derek hadn't seen Addison since morning so after his shift ended he started looking for her. After a bit of searching he found her engrossed in paper work in a deserted conference room.

"Hey. I didn't see you all day."

"I didn't want to see you today." Addison replied without looking up from her papers.

But that didn't discourage Derek he took a sit next to her.

"And I still don't want to see you" she said when she noticed Derek was sitting with her.

"It's not my fault she called him Addison." Derek tried to explain.

"I know." She replied still staring at papers in front of her. Derek snatched the papers away to get her attention.

"What? Derek, please leave me alone. It might not be your fault that she called him but you are the reason why she did."

"Yes I know and I am really sorry for that. That is why I came here with Juju to apologize. But it seems you already had enough and don't need this one." Derek said while pointing out to numerous empty cups on the table.

"I could use another cup of Juju." Her mood suddenly changed at the mention of Juju. She was exhausted and really needed some more energy. She took the cup from him.

"Does that mean you forgive me and we are friends again?"

"Would you leave me alone if I say yes?"

"No. Actually I wanted to talk."

"Then I haven't forgiven you."

"Come on Addie. I said I am sorry even though it wasn't actually my fault that he showed up. I even ended my friendship with Meredith. What else do you want me to do?"

"I want you to leave me alone. I am tired, my back is hurting, I have a headache, I spilled coffee on my favorite shirt, I am living on liquid diet because I have thrown up every other food I have had since yesterday and this paper work is driving me crazy" Addison was really frustrated and was on the verge of crying. She didn't like being sick. Derek used to tease that she was the worst patient he had ever seen. Derek noticed the tears gathering in her eyes and wrapped an arm around her shoulder pulling her chair closer. He placed his other hand on her forehead to check her temperature which seemed normal. She felt a bit relaxed in his arms.

"Did you see any Doctor Addie?" Derek asked her gently but that upset her even more.

"I AM a doctor Derek I don't need to see anyone else." She snapped pulling away from his embrace. Derek didn't understand what made her so angry but he tried to be patient and asked again. "Okay so what is your diagnosis Dr. Shepard and have you taken any medicine?"

"I might have caught flu. I just now realized that I am sick, I will take some medicine once I go back home. Thank you and sorry" she replied sheepishly.

Again Derek didn't understand what made her mellow down but thanked whatever it was. He wanted to tell her about Mark's visit and also ask her about what exactly happened that night. But seeing her mood it was best not to bring those topics. He offered to drop her at her hotel but she still had to finish her work so she decided to stay longer.

"Okay then I will leave you alone with your paperwork but Addie call me if you need anything." He kissed her on cheek and left.

* * *

He crossed Meredith on his way out but ignored her. He didn't like some of Meredith's gossiping and immature behavior even before but calling Mark was the last straw which made him realize that she was too young and naïve for him. They were very different people. It was fun being McDreamy and being worshiped like god by a beautiful young girl but that wasn't sufficient to build a strong relationship. Surprisingly this time it didn't hurt at all while breaking his friendship with her.

Meredith saw Derek walking away without even looking at her. She had been trying to talk to him since morning but he was in no mood to listen. She had made lots of drunken mistakes but she thought telling Mark about Addison's divorce topped all others. Her plan had backfired. Her move had pushed Derek far away from her. May be they were over for real this time.

* * *

Even after three days Addison still wasn't feeling any better. She knew taking some rest would help but she couldn't afford taking time off. Her department was flooded with patients; she also had to look after paper work for her unit's expansion. So she continued ignoring her condition. But she couldn't anymore when she fainted in a patient's room during her morning rounds. She had to go home when Richard threatened to call security to throw her out of the hospital.

Ever since Derek heard about Addison fainting in middle of the rounds he couldn't stop thinking about her. He realized she was sick for almost a week now and it might not be just simple flu. He didn't even know if she had run any tests and taken any medicines yet. Derek tried calling her but the call went on voice-mail. He thought she must be sleeping and decided to check on her later. He barely managed to wait for his work to get over. He left early as soon as he finished all important surgeries and consults. But before going to Addison's hotel he first went to the trailer and made Addison's favorite soup and sandwich. On his way to her hotel he stopped at a pharmacy to get something. Sometime later he was anxiously standing in front of her hotel room trying to calm himself before pressing the doorbell.

A/N: I know it is a very short chapter. But next one is pretty long and I promise I will update the next asap.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Here is the next chapter. It's pretty intense and the story is going to speed up from here. Keep reading and reviewing.

Disclaimer: Don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters.

* * *

The ringing of doorbell woke Addison up from her deep sleep. She had slept for the entire day after returning from hospital.

"What are you doing here?" she asked peeking from the slightly opened door.

"I brought soup and sandwich" Derek replied holding the bag up for her to see.

"Derek special?" she asked eyeing the bag. When Derek nodded in affirmation she opened the door little wider to let him in "for the record I am letting you in only for that soup." Addison said while looking for a spoon.

"I have no doubt about it." Derek replied.

She grabbed the bag from Derek and started drinking the soup directly from the container. Derek made himself comfortable on the couch and watched Addison who was drinking the soup hungrily. She was wearing his old shirt and sweat pants. She had puffy eyes and looked little pale. She didn't have any make-up and her hair were all over the place. Addison would kill herself before letting anyone see her like that but Derek thought she still looked beautiful. He couldn't help but stare at her stomach every now and then.

"This is the most delicious thing I have ever had." Addison stated while licking the last drop of soup from the container. Derek chuckled at the sight. He had always secretly thought that sick Addison was cute.

"Glad I could help. So how are you feeling?" Derek asked casually.

"I am better now. Whole day's sleep and your soup helped. I just hope my stomach agrees with me and doesn't throw up again."

Derek was a bit nervous and wasn't sure about how to bring the topic up. "Oh so the vomiting hasn't stopped yet?" Derek tried to sound cool. Addison just shook her head and slumped down lower in her chair.

"Do you also have nausea?" Derek continued enquiring. Addison just nodded.

"So you have nausea, you have been vomiting for a week, you said you have backache and headache, you always look tired, you fainted today." Derek listed all Addison's symptoms trying to diagnose her condition. "Do you feel dizzy? Is your body sore?"

Addison nodded again but she wasn't paying much attention to Derek.

"Are your breasts sore?" Derek asked cautiously.

The last question caught Addison's attention. She opened her eyes and sat straight to clarify Derek's doubt. "Derek I am not pregnant, I just have flu."

"Lots of people misinterpret pregnancy for flu Addie. Many of pregnancy symptoms are same as those of flu." Derek tried to make Addison see his point.

"I know the symptoms Derek. I am an OBGY and I know I am not pregnant."

"How can you be so sure? Have you taken any tests?"

"No I haven't taken any tests but I just know that I am not pregnant."

"How can you be so sure? You are showing all the symptoms. You are having mood swings which must be because of hormones." Derek continued his attempt to make her realize that she might be pregnant.

"Derek they are also flu symptoms and I am not having any mood swings, I am constantly cranky because I hate being sick." Addison was getting annoyed by Derek's persistence.

"You know an easy solution to end this argument is a home pregnancy test." Derek gave her his most charming smile to persuade her but nothing seemed to work on her.

"Derek I am not pregnant and I am not taking any pregnancy tests." Addison replied firmly.

"Please Addison you just need to pee on a stick. What is the harm in taking the pregnancy test? " Derek argued while putting the home pregnancy tests on the table which he had bought some time back.

"I know I am not pregnant and I am not taking those tests." Addison threw those tests aside and walked away from Derek. Looking at those boxes reminded her of the last time she had taken those tests and everything that happened after that. It brought back all the painful memories.

"Addison I think you are pregnant and ever since the thought has crossed my mind I am not able to think about anything else. I know I could be wrong but I won't be convinced unless I see those results for myself. Can't you just take those tests for my satisfaction?" Derek pleaded Addison. Addison felt bad for Derek. She went towards the study table and pulled out a file from a drawer. She carefully pulled a paper out from the file and handed it to Derek.

"It's my blood report. I ran some tests when I was in LA. If I was pregnant the test would have shown that." Addison said softly while sitting back on chair across Derek. Derek read the report carefully especially HCG level.

"So you aren't pregnant." Derek whispered while returning the report to her.

"No I am not. I am sorry Derek." Addison gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand. She could see how disappointed he was. She thought he could use a drink right now so she went to her mini bar and poured a drink for him. Derek gave her a small smile appreciating her gesture.

"What if you were pregnant? Would you have kept it? Would you have told me?" Derek asked while staring his glass.

"Of course Derek I would have. You know I wanted to have kids and I would never keep a father away from his child."

Derek remembered their discussion four years back about having kids. Addison wanted to have kids but Derek wasn't ready then. Though they had already become head of their departments, Derek still wasn't satisfied with is career. Addison had established herself well in her field in no time. She was brilliant and had natural talent. So she got settled earlier than Derek. But Derek hadn't reached his destination yet. His field was more challenging and needed more time. He loved kids and wanted to be the best father. He knew he wouldn't be able to give sufficient time for his family then and so had asked Addison for some more time. Addison understood him and gave him her full support. She decided to wait till he was ready. Derek achieved what he wanted soon after that but somehow the topic of kids never came up again.

Derek was lost in his thoughts. His head was resting on edge of couch's back and he was staring the ceiling.

"What are you thinking?" Addison's voice brought him back from his trance.

"I was just wondering what if we had tried then." Derek confessed sheepishly. "Have you ever thought how live would have been if we had kids?"

"I sometimes do." Addison replied with a small smile. But she didn't mentioning that she thought about it a lot more that she would admit.

"You do?" Derek asked with surprise. He shifted in the couch to face her directly. "What do you generally think?" Derek asked looking into her eyes.

Addison often used to think about life with kids but had never told anyone about it. She was little skeptical to share her thoughts but Derek seemed genuinely interested and the whole pregnancy thing had made her little emotional so she began telling her story with childlike enthusiasm. "Aiden and Ava. In my world Aiden is 5 by now, two years elder than his little sister Ava. Like Archer and me."

Derek smiled at the thought of little Aiden and Ava. "I hope Aiden isn't like his Uncle Archer." He teased Addison to lighten the mood. Addison smiled at Derek's concern.

"No he isn't. Rather he is exactly a copy of his father. He has your hair and smile but my nose and eyes. He is the most obedient son and loving brother in the world. Even though he is just 5 he already looks for his little sister. He is little introvert and shy. He thinks a lot but doesn't talk much in front of outsiders. He never argues and listens to whatever we tell him without complaining. He is very well behaved. But Ava is the trouble maker. She is mini me. She talks nonstop. She has gorgeous long red hair and she is very well aware of how cute she is. She has wrapped us all around her finger especially you. You always spoil our kids, you can't say no to them at all."

"It's not my fault. Our kids are the cutest it's impossible to be hard on them. I mean how can you say no when they look at you with those innocent eyes." Derek defended himself while joining Addison's fantasy world.

"I know and that's why I have to be the bad cop and disciple them. But I have it under my control. Aiden is anyways not a problem but Ava also knows that her charm doesn't work on me. And even though Ava is little naughty she is also a good kid. Though our kids are privileged they are not at all snob. They are very friendly, kind and caring. Everyone in their school and our hospital loves them."

"Of course everyone loves them. They are our kids it's genetically impossible not to be lovable." Derek said smugly. Addison just rolled her eyes at Derek's arrogance. Derek continued imagining his family. "I am sure even though Ava is just 3 she has a great sense of style and has a wardrobe full of designer clothes. But Aiden is my son, he doesn't care much about his clothes and wears whatever his mother or sister picks for him."

"Aiden even likes wild life just like you. Sometimes you both have boys day out and go for camping while me n Ava pamper ourselves with shopping and Disney marathon. Aiden has chosen a jungle theme for his room which I and Ava completely dislike but you boys have lots of fun there. Sometimes we all camp indoor in the big tent in his room."

"Which room did he get?" Derek asked curiously with a wide grin imagining his son's room.

"We combined our offices and converted my old office into his room. The guest room adjacent to master bedroom was his nursery and Ava is still using it as her room. Her room has a theme of Disney princess. Both our kids love their rooms but still they sleep with us in master bedroom every night. Snuggling together with kids at night washes away all our stress. " Addison continued enthusiastically.

"But what about our sex life?" Derek asked with little worry.

"What are on call rooms for? And we have the whole house for us once the kids go to sleep." Addison replied winking her eyes.

"But still, isn't Aiden little old to sleep with his parents? You are going to turn him into momma's boy Addie." Derek loved his kids but wasn't comfortable having them sleeping in his bed every day.

"He is just five Derek. And he will always be my little boy no matter how old he is. I will let him sleep in my bed even when he is in med school." Addison declared.

"That's gross. And what makes you think that he will go to med school?"

"Aiden and Ava both are going to be surgeons like us. They will have to attend med school for becoming doctors."

"What if they don't want to be surgeons or even doctors? What if they want to pursue some other field? You can't decide which career our kids should take."

"I can I am their mother. They are our kids, they are brilliant. Medicine and surgery are in their blood. What else are they going to do?"

"Yeah but they might not be interested in being like their parents. Look Ava has great sense of style. What if she wants to be a fashion designer?"

"It's good to have hobbies but those can't be a profession for _our_ kids."

"Now you are behaving exactly like Bizzy. You are an over controlling, dominating and suffocating mother. Our kids are so lucky to have a cool father like me. I would let them pursue whatever career they want. I wouldn't mind if Aiden wants to be a professional ballet dancer as long as he is happy with his choice."

Addison frowned knowing Derek was okay with their kids choosing some ordinary profession. "Over my dead body." She held her grounds.

"Fine I will arrange that if required. I wouldn't let anyone ruin my children's happiness. " Derek stated firmly meeting her gaze.

"If Bizzy knows that her grandson wants to be a ballet dancer she will disown our entire family." Addison said while trying to control her laugh.

"My mom wouldn't mind. She would love them unconditionally no matter what they do." Derek assured Addison.

"I know she would. Anyways my family is only there for namesake. Shepard's are the kid's real family. That's why we always spend Christmas at your mother's place. Spending holidays with all fifteen cousins, aunts, uncles and grandma is the highlight of the year. Kids love their grandma and the secret is our kids are mom's favorite grandchildren. They have a perfect family, just like the one I had always wanted."

Addison abruptly stopped talking and grew serious. The reality suddenly hit her and brought her back from her fantasy. There weren't any Aiden and Ava. She and Derek weren't even together anymore. Right now their divorce papers were being drawn and the lawyers were going to file for divorce petition in the court next week.

"My kids are never going to have a real family." She buried her face in her palms to hide her tears.

Derek awkwardly shifted closer to her chair and placed a hand on her back. "Don't think like that Addie. I know everything seems tough right now but I am sure it will get better. Just give it some time. You will find all the love and happiness you deserve one day." Derek made a lame attempt to comfort her but he also knew his words were meaningless.

"I don't have time Derek." She looked up and replied with tears in her eyes. She wiped away her tears, drank some water and took deep breathes to calm her down before she revealed her secret. "I am going to have a baby."

Derek looked at her confused and silently asked her for explanation.

"I am going to have a baby on my own through IVF. I am taking fertility treatment from Naomi. The real treatment hasn't started yet but I am preparing myself for it. I am seeing a shrink who is helping me to get emotionally stable and stronger. I am also taking some eastern medicines to prepare my body. Naomi is monitoring my cycles and ovaries through a local doctor at a private clinic here. We will start the actual fertility drugs in a month. Our divorce should be finalized in two to three months. So if everything goes well I will do the implant immediately after our divorce." Addison informed Derek without looking at him.

Derek was dumbfounded. Just now they were talking about their kids and now Addison had slapped him hard on face by telling him that she was trying for a baby on her own.

"Addison, why are you doing this? You are rushing into things. Don't you think a week after you decide to divorce is a wrong time to take such a big decision of your life? It's too soon. We aren't even divorced yet and how could you already start fertility treatment?"

"I know Derek that this is the worst time to have a baby. After being a devoted wife for 11 years I cheated on my husband, suddenly I am single and getting divorced, I am emotionally unstable, I live in a hotel, I don't know where my home is going to be, I fucking don't even know what my name is going to be but I can't wait to sort these things out. I am running out of time. I am 38. My egg count is rapidly declining. If I wait any longer I might not be able to have a baby ever. Even now there is a big possibility that the IVF won't work. I will try for two cycles and if it doesn't work then I will adopt a child after a year or two when I am more stable. I know I am rushing into this but few years down the line I don't want to wonder what my live would have been if I had tried then." Talking about all of this was difficult for Addison. She was desperately trying not to cry in front of Derek.

Derek didn't know what to say. His brain understood Addison's situation and felt bad for her but his heart wasn't willing to accept that. He was overwhelmed with all kinds of mixed emotions.

"I am sorry." That was all Derek could say. He felt sorry because she was running out of time. He was sorry that Addison had to have a baby on her own using some stranger donor's sperm, he was sorry that he didn't agree to try for a baby four years back and most importantly he was sorry that there won't be any Aiden and Ava in their lives.

"Yeah me too." Addison whispered.

"I am sure you would be a wonderful mother Addie." Even though Derek himself was hurting he plastered a smile on his face and assured Addison. With those final words he stood up to leave. Addison also walked with him to the door. They stood near the door in silence looking at each other communicating thousands of emotions with their eyes. Derek suddenly pulled Addison into a tight hug and then left without saying another word.

Derek mindlessly drove through Seattle city. He didn't want to go back to the empty trailer. He could use a drink but didn't even want to go to Joe's so he kept driving wherever the road took him. He had a dramatic evening. First he was overjoyed with prospects of being a father, but then he found out there wasn't any baby. Then Addison had painted a pretty picture of Aiden and Ava and their perfect life only to reveal later that she was painting another picture for herself. He wanted to scream and forbid Addison to have a baby so soon. She was moving too fast. She was building her own life without him. And he was still stuck in his miserable life.

He hated Addison for ruing the perfect family he could have had. He hated her for cheating on him. He hated himself for not being able to forgive her. He didn't even realize when the tears started rolling down his eyes. He kept driving through the deserted Seattle road wondering about the life he could have had, the life they could have had if only…

May be they weren't meant be...

* * *

A/N: So Addison isn't pregnant, but she might get pregnant before getting back with Derek. In my story Addie visited LA at the end of S2 almost a year earlier so she isn't completely barren and still has some fertility potential. So she is gonna try. I hope the treatment works.

It was really a heavy chapter to write. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews. And I am very sorry for taking so long to update. Keep reading and reviewing.

This chapter is spread over next three months since last one.

Disclaimer: GA or any of the characters aren't mine.

* * *

After that day, initially things were again little awkward between Derek and Addison. What Addison had revealed was too big to handle and though they were trying to be friends, Derek definitely couldn't picture himself to be a supportive friend during her pregnancy or be an uncle to her child. Both of them made sure not to bring that topic again ever.

Their divorce petition was filed in the court and the inevitable process had finally begun. They had to come up with a formal agreement to divide their possessions. But with the life they had and the things they owned it was much more complicated than they had thought. They had to have several meetings with lawyers to gather all the information and financial statements. They had to sign several documents to authorize separation of their joint accounts, holdings, memberships and what not since most of it was in their joint name. But all those regular meetings and discussions helped to break the ice and they soon got back being comfortable with each other.

* * *

Addison was critically staring at her image in the mirror in attending's lounge. She was contemplating whether to put her reading glasses on or not.

"I know you are a huge admirer of yourself but there are better faces around here to look at." Derek teased her while entering the attending's lounge with Burke.

"With or without the glasses?" Addison ignored his teasing and asked Derek his opinion.

"Whom are you trying to impress?" Derek asked.

"The board and some financers. I have a meeting with them in half an hour for additional budget."

"Why? Haven't you already got a very generous budget for your department?" Burke asked. The mention of budget caught Burke's attention. He and Derek were already pissed that most of this year's budget was allotted to neonatal leaving very limited funds for other departments.

"Well the initial budget that was allotted for expansion of neonatal unit is already exhausted and I need more."

"You know Shepard is right when he calls you a greedy woman." Burke teased her goodheartedly. Over last few weeks they all had become good friends.

"So you finally believe me." Derek said with a victory smile. "And Dr. Shepard if you keep going at this speed our departments won't even get the peanuts which were assured to get earlier. Burke we need to team up and do something."

Addison just watched the two pouting men with a smirk.

"You know we both operate on delicate hearts and brains. It's more complicated. We deserve more budget than your vergina squad." Burke pulled Addison's leg knowing very well how much she hated the word vergina squad.

"I don't understand why everyone makes so big deal of her. I mean even a midwife can do what she does without a hospital and the board is giving her millions of dollars from our budget." Derek and Burke both were fully enjoying pissing her off.

Addison frowned at Derek's comment. "Did you just compare me with a midwife?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at Derek who was smiling smugly. Addison covered the distance between her and Derek in one long step and stood in front of him with a stern glare. "Derek Christopher Shepard, Take Your Words Back."

"You can't threaten me anymore woman. We aren't married. I can say whatever I want without worrying about having to sleep on couch." Derek countered her.

"You losers can believe whatever you want to but the truth is I bring more money to this hospital than you two kids do. So the board loves me and is willing to invest in my department."

"Haven't they already invested a lot in neonatal?" Burke said referring to very generous budget which was allotted to her.

"Yeah. But most of it is already over and I still need more funds to build a kick ass NICU with world class technology." Addison confessed little sheepishly.

"Addison and 'budget' don't go along that well." Derek informed Burke. "We ended up spending double than what we had planned for our homes' interiors."

"Hey but you loved that. You were the one who proudly toured every guest through the house and bragged about every piece of antic."

"Who said I didn't. I love both of our homes. I am just saying that you always want the best and you tend to overspend while doing that." Derek replied sweetly while placing his hands on both sides of her waist looking lovingly into her eyes.

Burke just observed two of his colleagues or kind of friends with amusement. When they were married Derek barely acknowledged Addison's presence let alone talk about their life together. But now when they were getting divorced they were acting like a married couple. Shepards were strange people.

"I am just saying sometimes you need to compromise." Derek advised Addison.

"That is what Richard said. But I am gonna try my luck and request for additional funds. So seriously tell me glasses or no glasses." Addison went back to her original question of whether to put her reading glasses on or not.

"Are you well prepared? What do you think the Board is gonna say?" Derek asked observing her image in the mirror with her.

"I am always well prepared but the chief finance officer has already rejected my request citing 'constraints of funds'. So I have to convince these new financers for investments." Addison replied nonchalantly.

"In that case I would suggest put the glasses on and open two more buttons of your shirt. Naughty school teacher look might help." Derek replied winking his eye.

Addison's jaw dropped at Derek's suggestion. She hit him hard on his chest. "That is so inappropriate Dr. Shepard. I can get you fired for your indecent comment at workplace. Preston you could be my witness."

"Sure" Burke nodded.

"Hey Burke we are supposed to be a team. Don't change sides." Derek protested.

"If I can get rid of you by teaming up with her then I am all for it." Burke joked.

"What are you up to woman? First you steal away all funds from my department and now you want to get me fired. Are you trying to ruin my career?"

"Yes. Your career ruined my marriage so it's a pay back. Now wish me luck I have to go."

"Good luck Addison" Burke wished.

"All the best Dr. Shepard" Derek spanked her butt while wishing.

"Did you just spank me?"

"Yep I did. If I am getting fired for indecent behavior at least I should make it worth it." Derek replied with a mischievous smile.

"And people wonder why you and Mark are best friends!" Addison rolled her eyes and left.

* * *

Though they both had to visit New York to clear all required matters, Addison couldn't take time off from her busy schedule. So Derek went to New York alone with Addison's power of attorney. This was the first time he visited the city since that night. Though he owned a luxurious house in the heart of city he preferred staying at a hotel. He was going to be in the city for a week but he didn't inform his family about the visit. None of them were happy about the divorce and he wasn't yet ready for the interrogation. Derek first completed all banks and finance related matters. He then spent a day at Hampton. Going back there was harder than he had thought. He remembered all the good times he had there with Addison, their families and friends. Since Derek's eldest Sister Katherine had agreed to buy it, it was still going to be in the family. He arranged to move all their personal belongings from the Hampton. And finally the inevitable moment came. He couldn't postpone visiting the Brownstone anymore. They had decided to keep all the stuff from the Hampton in Brownstone for a while till each of them shifted to a permanent place. Visiting brownstone was the hardest. He stood outside the door for almost an hour trying to gather courage to face the demons of that night. Being in front of the main door replayed the images of throwing Addison out in the rain, the memory made his heart ache. He opened the door and entered the house hesitantly. He could hear Addison's last words warning him "If you go now we are not going to get through this." He wondered if things would have been different if he had stayed. He went straight to the stairs. He remembered Addison clutching the railing for her life. He now regretted dragging her out like that. He slowly went upstairs towards their bedroom and opened the door with all the emotional strength he had. He was prepared for all the flashing images of his wife and his best friend in his bed, but was surprised by an almost empty room. There was no bed in the room, the room looked empty without their king size bed. Addison's wardrobe was half empty but his wardrobe was almost full since he hadn't taken many clothes with him. He walked towards the big French window overlooking the central park. He sat down there and stared out thinking about the numerous mornings he and Addison had snuggled there while having their morning coffee. He then went to the next bedroom. Lot of Addison's stuff was there it seemed liked Addison stayed there for a while. He couldn't help but picture little Aiden and Ava running around the room. He then wandered in every room thinking about the good times they shared in the house. He was interrupted by the movers. He guided those guys to the basement to unload all the stuff from the Hampton there. He noticed Mark's bike parked there and to his own surprise he called Mark to inform him that he was in town and Mark could come and take his bike if he wanted. Mark obliged immediately and showed at his door step in 15 minutes. This time Derek was completely civil with his guest. They awkwardly talked about some common friends, hospital and new procedure Mark was trying at work. It was nothing like the way they used to be but it was a lot of progress as compared to their previous encounters. Mark left after a short while. It was Derek's last night in New York. He had first decided to just unload the stuff from Hampton, take some of the clothes and other things he and Addison needed and head back to hotel as quickly as possible. But for some unknown reason he couldn't leave the place easily. He decided to spend his last night in his soon to be ex home expecting it would give him some closure.

* * *

In Derek's visit to New York he made a list of all their important belongings which they would have to split. As they had expected splitting the trivial things was more difficult than splitting the larger assets. They bantered about everything. They generally discussed it in their lunch break in cafeteria so by now everyone in the hospital knew about the things Shepard's owned, story behind those and who was going to have it. For the things which they couldn't agree they just tossed a coin. After lots of efforts they finally arrived at a reasonable agreement which was to be submitted in the court. Now that all the papers were submitted in the court they just had to wait for 30 more days for the divorce to finalize.

* * *

As the time passed everyone noticed that Addison wasn't herself lately. She kind of isolated herself from everyone and avoided socializing as much as she could. She always seemed to be in bad mood and lashed out at her staff unnecessarily. Everyone including Bailey and Richard were scared of her. Derek tried to talk to her about her temper but she lashed out at him as well. Everyone figured that it was because of the upcoming divorce and tried to be as much supportive as possible.

* * *

The 30 days waiting period was over. Both Addison and Derek were laying in their respective beds completely awake thinking about the next day. Tomorrow they had an appointment in the court. They were suppose to sign on some piece of paper in front of the court authorities to dissolution their almost 12 year old marriage to end an era of happiness.

* * *

A/N: So here they are on the verge of getting divorce. I don't know what is the exact divorce procedure there so I just Googled a bit and used my imagination. And I have to confess the scene with Addison, Derek and Burke was for no reason. I needed some dialogues in the chapter so i added casual addek conversation. hope you liked it :)


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I don't have much to say here so go ahead and read and don't forget to review

Disclaimer: not mine.

* * *

Next Day

"DEREK CHRISTOPHER SHEPARD" Addison stormed into a gallery of the OR in which Derek was operating.

"Addison" Derek replied nonchalantly without looking up.

"Do not Addison me. And would you please care to explain why the hell you are in that OR when you are supposed to be in the court signing off our divorce papers?" Addison was fuming with anger. Their divorce was supposed to be finalized today but when she reached the court her lawyer informed her that Derek had some emergency at the hospital and their appointment was rescheduled. This was the last time Addison needed Derek but once again he had put his work ahead of her and that had sent her in blind rage. She didn't care that they were in the hospital, he was operating on someone's brain and whole gallery and the OR staff were watching them. All she wanted to do was kill him with her bare hands or better cut his hands off so he would never be able to hold a scalpel again in his life.

"I was about to leave but an emergency came in. There was a car accident and this little kid Mason needed a surgery immediately." Derek answered as calmly as possible still not bothering to look up from his work.

"There are other neurosurgeons in this hospital who could have operated on him. As your soon to be ex-wife _I_ needed you in that damn court but as usual your work seemed more important to you than your marriage."

"Addison, not now. I am in middle of a surgery. This is not a right place or time to talk. Please leave." Derek said curtly starting to lose his patience.

"Oh the famous _'not now'. _Isn't that what you always say? You showed no respect for our marriage when we were together. You are a self-centered egoist jerk who couldn't even end his marriage with dignity. I regret I ever fell ..."

"ADDISON GET OUT OF MY OR NOW" Derek cut her off looking at her for the first time. She met his angry eyes with her own fuming ones but made no move to leave.

"Addison if you do not leave in next 10 seconds I will be forced to call the security."

Callie who was watching the scene from last bench in the gallery decided to step in. She knew why Addison was so upset and how desperately she needed to close the divorce soon. But she also understood that making a scene like that in the OR when Derek was in middle of a critical procedure was not acceptable. She went towards Addison and almost dragged her out of the gallery.

* * *

**An hour later. **

Addison had taken a day off but since she was already in the hospital she decided to finish some paper work. Callie had accompanied her for a while to comfort her but she was soon paged for an emergency. After Callie left Addison tried to focus on the work in front of her but the anger and frustration didn't allow her to concentrate.

"What is your problem?" Derek stormed into the conference room in which Addison was sitting. He slammed the door so hard that the sound attracted entire floor's attention.

"What is _my_ problem? You stood me up once more and you still wonder what my problem is."

"Addison I told you it was an emergency. He was an eight year old kid who was severely injured from the car accident. He needed a surgery immediate. What was I supposed to do? Just walk away and let him die without a fight?"

"Why not? You had no problem in walking away from me without any fight. Derek any other surgeon could have operated on him but only _you_ could have signed those papers to finalize the divorce. This was the last time I needed you to do something as my husband and you proved again how little I mean to you. Actually thank you for doing this, it just confirmed that the decision to end our marriage was so right." Tears were pouring down from Addison's eyes and she made no attempt to hide them. At this moment she didn't even care that people were staring at them from open blinds.

"Addison, why are you blowing this out of proportion? It was just a simple appointment. Mr. Wade will get another one for us." Derek couldn't understand why a few days delay in finalizing the divorce would upset Addison so much.

"There is no appointment available for next two weeks Derek. I needed the divorce to be finalized today but now I am stuck in this marriage for 2 more weeks." She replied furiously wiping away her tears.

"You have put up with me for last 15 years Addison what harm two more weeks is going to cause? Why is it so painful for you to be legally my wife for just two more weeks?" Derek couldn't control the bitterness in his tone. Seeing Addison so desperate to get out of their marriage hurt him.

"Two more weeks could cost me my chance of having a baby. I have been pumping my body with FS Hormone shots daily for a month. My follicles are finally adequately developed. I am supposed to be in LA in three days to get my hCG trigger. I and Naomi had scheduled egg retrieval and embryo implant for next week. But now that we are still married I can't do that and I can't even risk cancelling my treatment at such an advance stage to wait for another cycle. All of this could have avoided if you had just showed up at the court to sign the papers." Addison finally revealed the cause of her frustration.

Their divorce process had already taken longer than she had expected. She knew her fertility potential was rapidly declining and she couldn't waste any more time. So as the divorce process came closer to end she had immediately begun her fertility treatment. If she didn't go for the implantation in next week she would have to wait for one or two more months.

Derek froze in his spot. They talked every day about every possible topic in the universe but Addison had never mentioned about her IVF treatment. Sure she had told him about her plans few months ago but he didn't expect her to actually undergo implantation so soon.

"You are… You are…" Derek's voice was just above a whisper, he couldn't find any words to express what he was feeling. All of a sudden a wave of rage hit him and he snapped out. "All I have to say is I HATE YOU." Derek's eyes were burning with fire. The hatred and disgust which he showed reminded her of the night he had found her with Mark.

"You hate me? _YOU_ HATE _ME_? After all that you have done to me, _I_ should be the shouting that from rooftop. _I_ HATE _YOU_."

Their fight had gone out of control. People could see their angry gestures from the open blinds. Their raised voices leaked out from the closed door but luckily their conversation wasn't clearly audible. The drama craving staff was happy that finally the Shepards had dropped their act of amicable divorce and were giving them something to gossip about.

"You are so hypocrite Addison. You blamed me of falling out of love but you are the one moving on faster than the speed of light. We aren't even divorced yet and you are all ready to get knocked up with some stranger's sperm. You are disgusting."

"You do not get to judge me Derek. You are the reason I am in this position. I told you I am running out of time. Unlike you I do not have a backup of a twelve year old's uterus waiting for me."

"Do not blame it all on me Addison. If you really wanted to have kids you wouldn't have waited for so long, you would have got pregnant immediately after marriage like my sisters and our other friends. You didn't want to have kids then."

"Derek **WE** didn't want to have kids then. **WE** decided to wait till we were settled. And when I brought the topic of kids few years back **YOU** weren't ready."

"Oh yeah you asked me just once. But why didn't you insist? If you really wanted to have a baby with me you wouldn't have given up so easily. You always knew how to get what you wanted. You made me buy Hampton, you made me go to charity events, you made me go to gym, you made me redecorate my office, you made me patch-up with Amelia, you made me do whatever you wanted me to do whether I wanted it or not. So don't act as if you are a victim here Addison. You never wanted to have a baby with me. May be a poor guy like me from an average family wasn't good enough to produce a WASP baby for The Forbes Montgomery family."

"How dare you say I didn't want a baby with you? I was supposed to finalize a sperm donor in last week. Naomi has sent me a huge file of wonderful people who have donated their sperms to help single women like me. They are all brilliant and have high IQs. They have donated their sperms for free to this charitable organization who sells it to raise funds for orphan kids. They are selfless nice people. They aren't doing this for money but for a cause. I like them and I respect them but I am still not able to pick one because i am looking for someone who has blue eyes, curly hair, a scar on forehead, ugly nose, flabby body, four sisters, a degree in medicine, a very high IQ and an ego even higher than that. And no one fits that description. So do you know how am I going to choose my baby's father? I am going to pick up a chit and have baby with the one whose number is on that chit.

Oh sorry I almost forgot because of your stupidity now I won't even be able to do that. Because I don't want to conceive another man's child while I am still married to you. Congratulations Derek Shepard you have managed to completely ruined my last chance of happiness."

With those last words she collected all her papers and stormed out of the room. When she suddenly opened the door all the people who were gathered to watch the drama tried to look busy with some work but she was too much frustrated to care about anything else right now.

* * *

**6 hours later.**

Addison was thinking over the day's events while sitting in her hotel room. Now when she had calmed down she realized that no matter how angry she was she shouldn't have confronted Derek in his OR. That was unprofessional and risky. If Derek had got even a little distracted by her, it could have cost the patient's life. Most of the times Addison was very much composed but lately the hormone shots were making it difficult for her to act rationally. Though she wasn't sorry for rest of the things she felt she owned Derek an apology for disturbing him in his surgery.

'_I am sorry for my behavior in the OR_._ I shouldn't have come there and said what I did in middle of your surgery.' _When she was typing a text message for Derek her doorbell rang. She hit the sent button and got up to open the door. She saw Derek standing in front of her door reading her text.

"I also shouldn't have said the things I did. I am sorry too. I came here to apologize." He said softly still standing outside the door.

"You didn't have to come here for that. You could have just sent a text like I did." Addison replied with a soft smile.

"Well I had to apologize for a lot more. The word limit of text message wouldn't have allowed to cover it all. Can I come in?"

"Derek I don't want to be rude but I don't think this is a good time for us to talk. As you might have noticed I have been on an emotional roller-coaster lately and I don't want to risk another fight. We have come this far without many bumps in the road. I don't want to waste our efforts and end on an ugly note. I think it is better to stay away from each other for a while." Addison said while looking at the carpet on the floor.

"No Addison I want to talk to you. See we could have avoided the whole thing if we had talked about certain things before today's appointment. For instance I should have asked you before rescheduling the appointment. Let us not repeat our mistakes. Let's sit down and talk things like adults."

Derek could see Addison was still little hesitant about the idea. "Addie I know you are going through a lot of emotional and physical stress. Honestly I can't even imagine what you are going through. But there are certain things I need to talk with you. You know you can get as angry as you want I promise I will not lose my temper no matter what you say. Just hear me out for once. Please."

Addison nodded and moved away from the door to let him in.

When they were settled Derek began to speak again.

"Let me first talk about what happened today. First of all I am sorry for the entire day. It was not a routine day and I should have taken a day off like you did. But I needed some distraction. I couldn't sit alone in the trailer and think about the divorce so I went to the only place where I feel confident. As I told you when I was about to leave the trauma team came in with the little boy. He was severely injured and I couldn't risk letting someone else operate on him. You know I feel extra concerned in case of young patients. I know saying this is not going to fetch me any brownie points but I am going to be honest with you. The moment I realized that the kid needed a surgery I decided to stay back and do it myself. I didn't think twice before rescheduling our appointment. But that was not at all because you or our marriage didn't mean anything to me. I thought attending the court was just an administrative task which could be postponed but if that kid had died in the hands of some inexperienced surgeon he or his family wouldn't have an option of re-do."

"Derek I know your intensions were good but you can't help them all. I am not saying that you should have left the kid unattended to let him die but there were other surgeons in the hospital who are not as inexperienced as you think. You need to trust others. This hospital was functioning quite well for years when you weren't there. St. Miami has been running well even after you left. This is the professional hazard Derek, every single patient and his life is more precious than our little errands and problems but that does not mean we should give up our personal life completely. Derek I care about my patients too but I know where to draw the line." Addison had tried to make Derek realize this numerous times before but unfortunately he could never draw the line and that's why they were here.

"Addison I had no idea that you needed to finalize the divorce so desperately. We were anyways going lot slower than other cases and I thought a little more delay wouldn't make much difference. I wouldn't have rescheduled if I had known your urgency. Addison why didn't you tell me about any of this before? Since you are ready for implant I suppose all of this must be going on for a while."

"Yes it is. I started the medicines and hormone shots a month ago. I go to a private clinic for my ultrasounds and examinations. Naomi has a tie up with the doctor. I email her all my daily results and she and Dr. Wyatt plan my treatment together accordingly. I thought our divorce would get finalized in this week so I would be free to go ahead with the implant next week. Derek this is not easy for me either. This is not at all how I had imagined my life to be but I have no option. And though we are trying to be friends I couldn't talk about all this with you."

"Yeah I understand. Addison I am also sorry for saying all those bitter things to you in the afternoon. I am ashamed of myself for saying all that. Believe me I didn't mean a single word that I uttered. I was just caught off-guard by the news of your implantation. The idea of you conceiving a child which isn't mine is hard to accept. I know we are not together but I can't help the way I feel. Addie, just imagine how you would feel if tomorrow you come to know that I have impregnated some other woman. I was hurt and I wanted to hurt you back so I said all the bitter things which came to mind. I was angry and I didn't know what I was saying. Please forgive me. I didn't mean any of that." Derek offered a sincere apology.

"I can understand how you feel Derek. The idea of conceiving a child which isn't yours is hard for me too. And I definitely don't want to imagine you impregnating any other woman. I really wish I could wait more but I don't want to risk waiting more. But I also don't want to conceive another man's child while I am still married to you. I talked with Naomi and we have come up with a solution. We would go ahead with hCG and egg retrieval in next week as we had planned. Naomi will fertilize the eggs but instead of implanting it after 48 hours, she will freeze the embryos for two weeks and we will implant it after our divorce. That way I won't have to wait for another cycle for my eggs to mature and I also wouldn't be conceiving a child until our divorce."

Derek was surprised by the coldness in her voice while talking about her treatment. She was sticking to medical terms and talking as if it was just another case. But this time he knew it was her façade to keep herself from falling out.

Addison had come up with another foolproof plan. But Derek still had a problem with that. "That sounds like a good plan. I have one suggestion."

"What suggestion?"

"Don't use a sperm donor."

"How am I supposed to have a child without a sperm?"

"Have a child with me."

To be continued…..

* * *

**A/N: What do you think about Derek rescheduling the appointment? I am not sure why he did that. It is possible that as he said it could be just out of concern for his patient or maybe deep down somewhere he just wanted an excuse to not sign the papers. Whatever the reason is the divorce is postponed for two more weeks and the story has just taken a twist. The plot is going to change a lot from now on. Let me know what you think **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you so much for your lovely reviews. I couldn't wait to write and post the second part of their conversation. So here is the next chapter. I hope it will answer some of your questions and the rest will be answered very soon.**

Disclaimer: Still not mine

* * *

"That sounds like a good plan. I have one suggestion."

"What suggestion?"

"Don't use a sperm donor."

"How am I supposed to have a child without a sperm?"

"Have a child with me."

Addison wasn't sure if she had heard him right. Derek guessed her doubt and nodded affirmatively to assure her that he meant what he said.

"How much scotch did you have?" Addison asked thinking that was the only logical explanation.

"Addison I am not drunk. I know what I am talking about. I want you to have a child with _me_." Derek replied confidently intensely holding her gaze to let her know how serious he was.

Addison was blindsided and those intense blue eyes were making her uncomfortable. She took some time to formulate her words. "Derek I know my potential pregnancy has freaked you out. But you can't impulsively say something big like that just because you are jealous. Tomorrow morning you are going to regret this idea. So let us just pretend that you never said anything and close this topic."

"Addison this isn't impulsive. I have thoroughly thought about …" Derek tried to explain but Addison cut him off.

"No Derek. There is no room for discussion. You should leave now."

"Addison I am not leaving without finishing what I have to say. Just hear me out before you make any decision and then I will accept whatever you decide."

"Derek, please don't do this to me. You don't want a child with me, rather you don't want a child at all. You are just having a hard time letting me move on. Derek you have already made me suffer enough by not letting me go the first time I came here. Please don't make me go through that again." Addison almost begged. She was very firm on her decision and was sure that Derek would soon change his mind once he realizes the gravity of his suggestion, but she couldn't risk falling for his tender words.

"No Addison you are getting it wrong. I won't deny that I am jealous but that is not the only reason why I am suggesting this. I do want to have children. Ever since we talked about Aiden and Eva, I have been thinking about being a father and having kids every day. Before that I was under a spell of my ambition and I didn't know what I really wanted. Addison I want to have a baby as much as you do. I am ready to be a father."

"I am glad you are but that doesn't mean we should have a child together. Derek we are not together anymore. From now on we are going to have separate paths. I am sure you will soon find a right woman with whom you can have your own family. Unfortunately she isn't me."

"Addison I don't want to wait for the next right woman. I am not getting any younger. I am approaching my forties and I don't see myself getting into any serious relationship anytime soon. I am little orthodox so I am not comfortable with the idea of surrogacy. Also I am not strong enough like you to raise a kid on my own. So at this moment you are my only chance of having a baby. Addison we both want the same thing and we can help each other to have it." Derek listed all the reasons he could think of to convince Addison.

"Derek, why don't you understand? We are getting divorced. Why do you want to add a child in this mess?" Addison asked wearily.

"Addison I am not adding any child. You have already planned to have one, I just want it to be mine. We would be a divorced couple who have a child together. Just like million other couples who have kids but get divorced and co-parent their children. Our case will be slightly different but we can do that. We failed as a couple but we are a good team. Even after our separation we have managed to be pretty good friends. In spite of what happened between us I still think that you are a good person and you would be a wonderful mother. I want to have a child and I want you to be the mother of my child."

"Derek it is not as simple as you make it sound. It's a bad idea." Addison tried to be firm but her tone wasn't convincing enough. A rational part of her brain was telling her that it was the craziest idea but she was starting to get tempted.

Derek continued persuading her "Addison what do you have to lose? You are anyways having a child using some anonymous donor's sperm. Sorry to say this but your child is not going to have a perfect family anyway. He would never know who his father is. He would never get a chance to go camping or play football with his father. I have no doubt that you will be an amazing mother but a kid needs both the parents. Addie I am saying it from my personal experience. My mom has been a great mother but I still wonder what life would have been if dad were alive. Ever since I was twelve I have missed him on every occasion. Addie you can never completely understand this feeling, because though perfectly dysfunctional you still have both the parents. It sucks not to have one. If you don't believe me, talk to Sam. We both have always been jealous of you, Naomi and Mark for having a father which we didn't. At least I have some fond memories of my father but Sam didn't even have those. He doesn't know who his father is and thought he never shows it, it does bothers him not to know where he came from."

Tears started pouring down Addison's cheeks. When she decided to go for IVF she perfectly knew what she was getting into. It was painful to accept that her child will be a product of medical procedure not love, the child will grow without a father, they would never know anything about him except few details listed on the donors form. Sometimes she wondered if she was being selfish in bring a child in the world just for her own happiness. She was also scared that she won't be a good mother and might end up like Bizzy. But despite all her worries she had decided to take her chance. But now hearing Derek say all those things made her skeptical again.

Derek wiped away her tears smoothly and held each of her hands in his own. He looked directly into her eyes and said. "Addison you don't need to be a single parent. Your child could have a father. We could still have a family which we wanted to have. It may not exactly in the same condition in which we imagined 10 years back but still we could have one. Just consider my proposal."

"I will think about it." She whispered.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think? **

**In next chapters: It is going to be a long day for Addison and Derek. They are going to have a surprise visitor who is going to confront them both and knock some sense into them. We will also know why Derek is willing to have a baby with Addison but still isn't planning to patch-up and cancel the divorce. And sorry guys but we will have to wait for two more chapters to find out Addie's decision. Addison will also have to reveal a secret before she conveys her decision. **

**Don't forget to review :) **


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